Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: I feel like there's something wrong with me and can't help myself

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    Posts
    14

    I feel like there's something wrong with me and can't help myself

    This might be a very erratic post.. I have been putting off posting for awhile because I really don't know that anyone can say anything or do anything and it's hard to articulate but I want to try because this forum helped me maybe ten years ago, thought I'd try again. I'm just in a really bad place mentally, I'm off my antidepressant (I weaned off under my doctor's supervision) and I've been a mess for a month. I'm crying every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and I'm numb and bored the rest of the time. I have some good moments here and there but they feel fake and forced and I don't look forward to anything. I'm struggling all the time. My husband and I fight and I don;t know what's going to happen, things are complicated. I don't know what I'm doing or why, and I'm lonely all the time. I had it kind of together before the lockdown- I had a plan, I wanted to try for a baby this summer, and I thought life was fine. None of that stuff matters anymore. I love my husband, but he has his own mental health issues too I think, and I don't know how to not fight with him or not feel broken when we fight. And when I have crying spells lately he just seems fed up with me. I'm scared of living another several decades possibly feeling this way, I'm worried I can't do it. I don't think it's all his fault but the fighting doesn't help. I hate getting out of bed, I hate working from home, and I'm trying to give myself structure and exercise and eat well and do things but I'm finding it more and more pointless. Like I wish I could just go for a really deep sleep, there's no relief anywhere.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,475
    Gender
    Male
    Sorry to hear this. What are the fights about? Why are "things complicated"? Is marriage therapy an option for you two? Why not talk to your doctor as well as a therapist separately, it sounds like you need some support before you unravel.

    You need to call your doctor and describe all these symptoms. Why did you stop the medication?
    Originally Posted by PinkMoonlite
    I'm off my antidepressant (I weaned off under my doctor's supervision)

  3. #3
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,024
    I presume being off medication is contributing to your feelings.

    I take thyroid medication. I can't go off my medication without an impact on my health. Anti-depressants are the same.

    I would recommend contacting your doctor first and go from there.

    BTW, it's not weak to need medication. I will be taking my thyroid and BP meds for the rest of my life. I'm about to add anti-anxiety medication. And you know what? If that's what I need to live a productive and healthy life then so be it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    3,677
    Gender
    Female
    Can you contact your boss and explain you'd rather work in the office or not work from home? Is this an option? You can also take your laptop or whatever else to a local coffeeshop and work there if working at home is too distracting. You need some balance and perhaps a change of scene.

    Or, why not work from home half the day and take the laptop to a beach with wifi the other half?

    Numb and bored sound so painful. I think you're in a funk. I don't know how much of it is chemical or mental health issues that need to be looked at by a professional. Try changing your scenery and creating better routines for yourself.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    Posts
    14
    I weaned off the medication because it's not something I want in my system if I become pregnant. I've taken the meds since I was 19 I think (I'm 30 now) and I thought I could adjust. Maybe I will still adjust- I definitely wasn't this low and hopeless before,although I've always had some sadness that I try to just ignore and distract myself from.

    The fights with my husband... I don't know how to explain. It feels like he's always getting mad at me. I worry that he gets mad and too sensitive about things with his family too. I don't know if it's accurate to say things got worse during the lockdown because we're always home together and less busy with work? We love each other a lot for sure but lately there's more bad times than good. Counselling as a couple isn't an option- he won't. I'm looking into doing it just for myself because I've been wanting to try for awhile, just always putting it off because I'm scared it won't help. I did try when I was younger with a few therapists and no one could help me, I never knew what to say either. I'm hoping now that I'm older I could get more out of it?

    I don't know what's real lately or what's accurate. I don't know if we're just going through a rough patch, if we're bad together or if I'm the problem. I don't know if I'm fixated on my marriage when really I'm unhappy overall? I don't know what I'm talking about honestly. I just know I don't feel right and I'm getting tired.

  7. #6
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    14,833
    Originally Posted by PinkMoonlite
    I weaned off the medication because it's not something I want in my system if I become pregnant.
    OP, at this stage it would be very very unwise to fall pregnant with your mental state as it is. You need to be 100% healthy, both mentally and physically to bring a baby into the world and it seems at this stage you are far from it. You say you are unhappy, low and hopeless, fights with your husband, been a mess for a month, cry all the time etc etc - NONE of which is a good place to be to get pregnant and have a baby.

    Please see a doctor and therapist to help you sort out all of these issues before thinking about having a baby.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,767
    You need an antidepressant. In some cases, like yours, it's not optional, it's vital.

    I hope you can get back on one asap and also discuss with your doctor what the safest alternative would be in order to carry a child and still be treated for depression.

    Have you ever considered adoption? Being a new mother is incredibly stressful and being as you already deal with depression, there is a high chance of you getting postpartum depression, which can be very serious.

    I know that having your own is a first choice, but it might not be the healthiest when it comes to your mental health and how you might cope not only during your pregnancy, but afterwards.

    You can still be a mom, but there are a lot of children out there needing a mom. It might be something worth considering.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,767
    OP, you're spiralling. Please get to a doctor as soon as possible. You need help.

    If it's worse than you've even described on this forum, then go to ER. Tell them how bad it is and be honest.

  10. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2020
    Posts
    14
    I should clarify that I'm holding off on wanting to get pregnant, it's just the reason I went off the meds. I had no reason to otherwise.

    As an update, I called my family doctor to tell her what I'm experiencing and she made a referral for a psychiatrist to call me and work with me virtually. I'm trying to be hopeful.

    I feel so uncomfortable disclosing more about my husband and the issues we have.. I don't know if I'm too sensitive and unstable or if it's him, but when we argue over things I think shouldn't be a big deal, my world feels like it's falling apart. And he threatens divorce/suggests it and then says he doesn't mean it after. I don't think he ever means it but it gets to me. We make plans for our future and have been together close to 8 years (married 2) and even though we've been happy and we take care of each other, I'm not as strong as I used to be and I feel like breaking down a lot. He keeps reminding me we'll get through this like we get through everything and that we'll be together until old age.. but in the moment it feels so chaotic. And I keep hearing that fighting is normal between couples, and we're not aggressive, but I hate conflict and I struggle to keep it together.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,475
    Gender
    Male
    You need to tell the psychiatrist about the fighting, divorce threats and other problems in the marriage and in general.


    Whatever you tell a physician is confidential. A few arguments are normal but where do you "keep hearing" that this level of conflict and being this worn down from it is normal?

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Videos


Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems

Friendship Between Men and Women Often Involves Attraction

Infidelity

Most Women Rather Not Date Unemployed Men
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •