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Thread: My best friend

  1. #1
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    My best friend

    so I recently posted about trying to get back with an ex and that did not work out, he started dating someone else and I became clingy and wanted a full blown relationship and needless to say I scared him off....

    I did tell ya'll that I had a best friend and family as emotional support. Well, I guess the hole left by lack of male attention let me to kind of poke around and put feelers out on him. the best friend. well although I do sincerely care for him, I am cautious in developing romantic feelings for him or more like I do NOT have any romantic feeling for him.

    although we have been spending tons of time online together sending messages.


    I can't stomach making a move and then scaring him away. He is the only relationship I have . Im not sure where to meet others, but should I try to develop something further with him>?

    for instance, for my birthday in 2 weeks I want to go the the beach. He said he would come, I signed up and made a day pass reservation and I plan to go with our without him, but don't you think spending a day together going to the beach...a 2-3 hour drive would maybe cause some kind of emotional romantic spark???


    Thanks in advance for your advice.

    violetstar

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    When did you last see this friend in person? Are you looking to date or be friends? Have you considered dating apps for dating?

  3. #3
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    You are extremely self absorbed and uncaring about the impact your actions might have on others.

    Your ex you mention that you tried to get back with wasn’t an ex but someone you briefly dated 5 years ago over a mere 56 day period! ???

    This current “best friend” you are talking about , have you ever met in person?? You only mention spending time online?! That does not equate to a best friend but simply a fantasy friendship that you have created instead of creating real life friendship??

    You have admitted here that you have no romantic feelings towards him. Have you told him that? Or are you stringing him along?

    Please send me his number so I can message him and tell him that you are absolutely not interested. Because clearly you have not told him this!

    Don’t use an innocent person to fulfill your void in life.
    Tell him you are not interested and delete and block.

    For his sake!!!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Its just sad , you know you love someone and then you realize they have completely and utterly destroyed you.

    You posted this about a man you dated for two months. You're not in the right headspace to be dating right now. It was a crush, not love, after only 60 days together. And people with a fulfilling life besides having a romantic companion will be upset with a breakup, but never destroyed.

    That guy ran far and fast because it's too smothering that your whole life would've revolved around him, since you don't have much going on in your life except work. It's great that you have a job and seem to like it, but you should also find a hobby or interest you can be passionate about, and by doing so, perhaps you will meet some new friends, preferably female, since if you only collect guy friends, a future bf might see red flags in that.

    Meetup.com has activity groups who meet for hiking, kayaking, going to festivals, and many other interest groups. I did that in one period of my life and enjoyed it.

    When you have a happy, fulfilling life solo, a man will be drawn to that happiness and want to share your joy, but he wouldn't want to be the sole reason for your happiness. That's too much pressure.

    Be alone and work on yourself, because only broken people will be drawn to you at this point.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    I fully agree with what Andrina just posted.

    "When you have a happy, fulfilling life solo, a man will be drawn to that happiness and want to share your joy, but he wouldn't want to be the sole reason for your happiness. That's too much pressure.

    Be alone and work on yourself, because only broken people will be drawn to you at this point."

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I didn't go back and read your history. I'll just address what you've written here.

    He's adult enough to make his own decisions about how he wants to spend his time so if he joins you at the beach, enjoy yourself. It sounds like you're just enjoying male company and that's fine. If there's some romantic spark there, you'll find out. Use protection please.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Projecting romantic or flirty behavior where is doesn't belong is an adolescent--and unnecessary--thing to do.

    Either you can spend time enjoying someone's companionship comfortably, at face value, or you can't. If not, don't send time with that person.


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