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Thread: Infertile men and quality of life - impossible unless beta male.

  1. #61

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    Originally Posted by arjumand
    OMG, do you really think your wife cheated on you and acted like a because you are infertile? That is what you got out of all of this? I know PLENTY of men and women who are partnered with infertile individuals and not one of them cheated. You know why? They are good people with character. Clearly your ex wife isn't. Maybe you need to stop obsessing on infertility and see a therapist about the fact that you went through emotional trauma at the hands of someone you trusted and then you might find a better approach to life.
    Of course, all partners face the same infidelity risk. No, what I got from it is that I don't have a choice. If I want the quality of life brought by family, providing life skills, its going to be another man's child and my wife's, and never my eyes looking at me.

    I know how it must sound selfish and stupid. I wouldn't be in this topic in this forum if I didn't really think about the issue first.
    Consider you put all your effort, dedicate your life to a goal, restarting repeatedly, only to realise 30 years later, you wasted your time because of a simple science fact. Did you know that in some countries/states, even a sperm donor biological father, retain his parental rights if he wishes? Why would that be the default and law, if there is just soo much more to life for them out there? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #62
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Life is unfair. Much as BlueC just stated.

    “If life is unfair with everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?” — Thabang Gideon Magaola

  3. #63

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    If anyone could recommend how to find a therapist which is 47XXY, and with personal experience, I would definitely be interested. With my limited knowledge, I know professional therapists are guided by and ethically restricted to clinical guides. I have read these guidelines. It may work for the masses of patients to a suitable extent, to look the other way and be happy. Is it really that easy?

    Should I just lower my standards and expectations of myself and live a gray life with a fake smile. To the experienced people, what value did you find that compares/replaces fertility? what is the silver lining in your life?

    The data does not provide a scientific element equivalent, or I have not found it yet.

  4. #64
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to research the support groups for chromosomal and intersex conditions. However most licensed qualified therapists/doctors can manage issues associated with divorce, infertility, depression, improving coping skills, etc.

    It's surprising you have not consulted a geneticist or gotten a recommendation from those resources. Research more on Klinefelter Syndrome, rather than perseverating on merely the infertility aspect. It's surprising you don't have a regular physician, endocrinologist and urologist.

    The infertility is just a symptom not the whole issue. You seem well adjusted as many 47xxy men are, so some tweaking and support via therapy would help immensely.
    Originally Posted by Silent47XXY
    If anyone could recommend how to find a therapist which is 47XXY, and with personal experience, I would definitely be interested.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 07-02-2020 at 12:46 PM.

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  6. #65
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Well, there have to be a few infertile therapists (male) in this percentage group:

    "North America demonstrates rates of male infertility 4.5-6% [4]. While a calculated percentage reveals 4.5-6% of North American males are infertile, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 9.4% of males in the United States are infertile"

    Where to start looking for an infertile psychologist is another matter.

  7. #66
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    JOHNS HOPKINS MEDICINE Klinefelter Syndrome Center: [Register to see the link]

  8. #67
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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  9. #68

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    JOHNS HOPKINS MEDICINE Klinefelter Syndrome Center: [Register to see the link]
    Contacted them thank you. I have also a few in UK which are closer to my lockdown location. No reply in the last 100 days.

    LaHermes, yes it is unfair, and I can deal with many issues in this regard, and have, this is issue is blindsiding me completely as it has no logic. Which means it must be evolutionary (natural selection) and so there is a reason for it, which means that naturally, it should not bother me, but it is. Similarly one can not dumb yourself down once you acquired the knowledge.

    As Wiseman2 suggested there is maybe an underlying issue, I cant see what it is though, I'm generally successful at everything I do and can self manage through emotional intelligence.
    I'm a scientific guy, I need a scientific solution.

    There are some good philosophical explanations on here, and I would start to believe that there is so much more to life, as soon as I see fertile men sending their women for IVF by sperm donor of other males. I think you see my point that it is not a real silver lining, it just makes us feel better about it.

  10. #69

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Thanks for the video. I have come across his channel a month ago.

  11. #70
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    From The Guardian (UK)

    [Register to see the link]

    " A comprehensive study published last year by the Hebrew University of Jerusalem suggests that sperm count among western men has more than halved over the past 40 years. There have been several other studies that have reached similar conclusions, but this was by far the largest. According to experts in the field, as many as one in five young men have low sperm counts, and about one in two are below the optimum."

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