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Thread: Infertile men and quality of life - impossible unless beta male.

  1. #31
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    I can understand what you are saying, but as a guy who is intentionally sterile (vasectomy) I canít relate.

    It seems like you are the only one who is judging yourself as inferior? If other people are determining what it means to be a man for you then thatís the problem. You are the only person who gets to judge what it means to be you and how you should live your life. You canít judge your insides by other peopleís outsides.

    There are so many women who donít want kids; if what you are looking for is a solid relationship then they should be your dating pool. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #32
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    The way I see it is that just because someone is infertile doesn't have to mean it's the be all and end all of the universe. There's a LOT more to life. Being infertile doesn't make you less of a man (or woman), imo. I would be with a man because I WANT to be with him, not because he can, or can not father a child, but that's just me.

  3. #33
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    [QUOTE=Silent47XXY;7226575]
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Regular or specific therapy could help you with the general issues of divorce, infertility, etc. Perhaps a therapist trained in chromosomal conditions and the options and challenges it may pose. Did you have DNA testing or genetic counselling?

    Genetic testing.
    The therapist tries to tell me to accept it and move on. Easy to say with the picture of his family and kids on his table.
    Yes, you have to accept it.
    Then you decide what is most important to you.
    To find a woman who does not want kids
    To find a woman who is comfortable with the two of you using a donor bank for a sperm donor
    Or adopting children
    or be an awesome stepdad.

    Methinks no one divorced you BECAUSE you were infertile unless you did not tell them until after you married. If they knew that you were and it was important to them to conceive the natural way, they would not have married you. Could it be you are all doom and gloom?

  4. #34

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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Are you opposed to being with a woman who doesn't want children? Fertile males are useless to them.

    What about a woman who would prefer to adopt rather than gestate? Fertile males play a very limited role there.
    Good options. Tried it. But defeats the point. Means I accept Im a lesser man when compared. e.g I could just have a pet and not bother Women with my issues and spare myself the drama. Emasculated living style. Pointless to me.

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  6. #35

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    Originally Posted by Skeptic76
    I can understand what you are saying, but as a guy who is intentionally sterile (vasectomy) I canít relate.

    It seems like you are the only one who is judging yourself as inferior? If other people are determining what it means to be a man for you then thatís the problem. You are the only person who gets to judge what it means to be you and how you should live your life. You canít judge your insides by other peopleís outsides.

    There are so many women who donít want kids; if what you are looking for is a solid relationship then they should be your dating pool.
    An honest opinion thanks Skeptic76. Let me process this. Negative reference experiences have conditioned me to this point where I am purely scientific about life. No sperm no point. Darwin.

  7. #36

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    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    The way I see it is that just because someone is infertile doesn't have to mean it's the be all and end all of the universe. There's a LOT more to life. Being infertile doesn't make you less of a man (or woman), imo. I would be with a man because I WANT to be with him, not because he can, or can not father a child, but that's just me.
    Good point. But my experience is that (in my case) Women only want to be with me after getting the genes. I wish I could sell raising his child as being a 'lot' more in my life. Its a negative feedback loop. The more I think about what I'm thinking, the more I think. I totally agree. there is a legacy I will leave, but not the most important point to life.

  8. #37
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silent47XXY
    Emasculated living style. Pointless to me. No sperm no point.
    If I may be blunt ...... that's just nuts. Really just nuts. Honestly, your entire life just revolves around your sperm count?? Seriously? I have a very hard time understanding this. I think the only one who is making this a massive issue is yourself. Have you ever considered professional counselling/therapy?

  9. #38

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    [QUOTE=abitbroken;7226604]
    Originally Posted by Silent47XXY

    Yes, you have to accept it.
    Then you decide what is most important to you.
    To find a woman who does not want kids
    To find a woman who is comfortable with the two of you using a donor bank for a sperm donor
    Or adopting children
    or be an awesome stepdad.

    Methinks no one divorced you BECAUSE you were infertile unless you did not tell them until after you married. If they knew that you were and it was important to them to conceive the natural way, they would not have married you. Could it be you are all doom and gloom?

    Thanks for you thoughts... please elaborate if you get time: ...

    es, you have to accept it. - Why? What is the value?
    Then you decide what is most important to you. - Being equal to fertile man by being able to create life.
    To find a woman who does not want kids - They change their minds.
    To find a woman who is comfortable with the two of you using a donor bank for a sperm donor - That is submissive and emasculating. Shall I look into his child's eyes, a child he created with my wife, for the rest of my life? What is my purpose then.
    Or adopting children - Same as above.
    or be an awesome stepdad. -Tried it, then she wanted another child. I was told Im not half the man his late real father was. She then cheated and had child with a fertile man. So no I will be submissive to what the real father say at any time? Because he has parental rights as biological? Cant take whats not mine can I.


    Doom and gloom, maybe but that's emotional thinking. I have a simple intellectual question: Why does infertile men exist?

  10. #39
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Silent47XXY
    Why does infertile men exist?
    Why do infertile women exist?

  11. #40

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    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    If I may be blunt ...... that's just nuts. Really just nuts. Honestly, your entire life just revolves around your sperm count?? Seriously? I have a very hard time understanding this. I think the only one who is making this a massive issue is yourself. Have you ever considered professional counselling/therapy?
    Certainly, be blunt, please. Yes, so does professional fertility therapists following clinical guidelines and council me to accept it, while they have biological families, they don't understand it, or I have not met one that does.

    Why do you exist if I may ask your understanding?

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