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Thread: Infertile men and quality of life - impossible unless beta male.

  1. #11

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    [QUOTE=Wiseman2;7226563]Do you have Klinefelter Syndrome, Silent47XXY ?

    Most men inherit a single X chromosome from their mother, and a single Y chromosome from their father. Men with Klinefelter syndrome inherit an extra X chromosome from either father or mother; their karyotype is 47 XXY. Klinefelter is quite common, occuring in 1/500 to 1/1,000 male births."

    There are support groups for people with chromosomal situations:

    It basically says you have to accept it and move on. Its not like have not tried the 15 coping mechanisms over the last 30 years 3 failed marriages, same failure mode. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Is it that you want to have biological children only? I can understand this I wanted my own biological children ( I have 1) but I was not adverse to adoption either.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Regular or specific therapy could help you with the general issues of divorce, infertility, etc. Perhaps a therapist trained in chromosomal conditions and the options and challenges it may pose. Did you have DNA testing or genetic counselling?
    Originally Posted by Silent47XXY
    It basically says you have to accept it and move on. Its not like have not tried the 15 coping mechanisms over the last 30 years 3 failed marriages, same failure mode.
    [Register to see the link]

  4. #14

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Many women can't have children either. They and their spouses choose to adopt.

    It's certainly something that should be discussed prior to marriage, although as you found that doesn't always work out either. But you wouldn't be "taking away" their opportunity to bear children if it was discussed ahead of time. I got the impression you didn't deceive these women but rather they made a choice and then changed their minds after they married you. Not cool.
    Thank you Boltnrun, thank you for your thoughts. I don't blame women for changing their minds. The fault is with me, secondly, it's their prerogative, as they have (if they do) the opportunity to fulfil their needs/roles as they wish. All 3 want me back, after having conceived. So I'm good enough as a life partner, but not to create a life, for that 3 million-millionth of a gram sperm, I have to submit to another male, and accept that I simply can not compete.

    It appears the issue has never been addressed psychologically. Or am I simply insane/irrational in expecting the impossible: to be equal to fertile men in creation?

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  6. #15

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    [QUOTE=Wiseman2;7226573]Regular or specific therapy could help you with the general issues of divorce, infertility, etc. Perhaps a therapist trained in chromosomal conditions and the options and challenges it may pose. Did you have DNA testing or genetic counselling?

    Genetic testing.
    The therapist tries to tell me to accept it and move on. Easy to say with the picture of his family and kids on his table.

  7. #16

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Is it that you want to have biological children only? I can understand this I wanted my own biological children ( I have 1) but I was not adverse to adoption either.
    Hi Seraphim, biological children and the capability. For me the natural conception concept forms an incredible bond. The kind of bond that an infertile man can never compete with (see the reverse psychology?). I would love to raise adopted children once I have my own child and fulfil my genetic masculine role. Currently, I feel completely emasculated with no mechanism to retrieve my self respect.

    Wherever I search clinical psychology guideline journals on the topic, it all ends the same. Council the patient to accept a decent quality of life. For me, an emasculated life is pointless. When I would look into adopted children's eyes, I would think, why could he create life, what made him so good, what do I have to do.

  8. #17
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Absolutely, you are equal. Why not?

  9. #18
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    Im so sorry that must be frustrating to not be able to have a biological child but I doubt the readings saying you die younger then fertile men is true. I canít have kids either so I got a hysterectomy for other reasons as well when I was 33. Though I never wanted children.

    I find life and statistics very confusing and surprising as I go along.

    I at the young age Female 37 non smoker, non drinker, no history of bladder or kidney cancer have a suspicious mass in my bladder. Which in itself is highly unusual! If I were to go by statistics a Male thatís in his 70s that was or is a smoker are the culprits for bladder cancer. So you see you canít go by statistics.

    My mom was a social worker for those with terminal cancer. Most of them were far from the statistics of their cancer!

    The truth is you canít say you donít have a shot because the internet says so. There are plenty of woman not wanting children or donít mind adopting or canít have children. There are plenty more woman out there for you.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Silent47XXY
    Hi Seraphim, biological children and the capability. For me the natural conception concept forms an incredible bond. The kind of bond that an infertile man can never compete with (see the reverse psychology?). I would love to raise adopted children once I have my own child and fulfil my genetic masculine role. Currently, I feel completely emasculated with no mechanism to retrieve my self respect.

    Wherever I search clinical psychology guideline journals on the topic, it all ends the same. Council the patient to accept a decent quality of life. For me, an emasculated life is pointless. When I would look into adopted children's eyes, I would think, why could he create life, what made him so good, what do I have to do.
    I have adopted family members. They are very happy to be adopted.

  11. #20
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    As for feeling emasculated because you canít produce a biological child is something I canít tell you specifically how to feel about. All I can encourage is that you find someone who doesnít want children or canít have children or wants to adopt. With adoption you are very much a father and even more so then the sperm producing male that put that child up for adoption.

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