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Thread: Ups and struggling with mostly down moments

  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    174
    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Well she obviously not happy with her life or is she just not a happy person? You have to want to be with the person you are with and not the person you wish to were. You know?

    A bad attitude, miserable outlook and overall Debbie downer gets old super quick. My mother, I love her. She's my mum but her go to emotion is annoyed or how she got slighted... Fortunately, I take after my dad. Lol. I don't know how he tolerates it.... Day in day out... Everyone and everything is wrong. And even when I try to listen to her, it's like she's so mad about it. I am like gosh.... Can't you just deal with your life, even one little thing....

    Think about it.... She probably won't change. She may have that victim mentality, this could be her personality and it may never change. Some people can only express thru anger....
    Honestly this is her in a nutshell. She probably won't and the more I think, the closer she is towards being like her mum with constantly seeing the bad in things or picking holes. Her mum's been single for a very long time because of it...

  2. #12
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
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    23,056
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    Female
    All adult relationships being voluntary, my private rule for any relationship is that it needs to add something positive to my life. Otherwise, I'm better off without it. This doesn't mean that I ditch people I love over an occasional hiccup, but I'm not signing on to play perpetual therapist or social worker--especially with someone who insists on being miserable and dumping that misery on me.

    I'd tell GF that I adore her, but I haven't been happy with our relationship lately, and I feel taken for granted. That's why I'm walking away while we both still think highly of one another. She gets to decide how she wants to manage her problems and whether she wants to adopt optimism as a private goal even while seeking professional help to manage her anger and resentments. If she ever reaches a point where she believes that she can bring some joy and optimism to the table and wants to try partnering in a positive way, she can let me know. If I'm still available then, we can meet to catch up. Otherwise, I wish her the best.

    Boom, done. You're leaving the door open to any potential in the future, but it's up to her whether she wants to bring anything of value to a relationship. If not, then you've dodged a bullet.

    Life is short, and we never get any wasted time back again for do-overs.

    Head high.

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