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Thread: Anyone Who Has experienced this?

  1. #21
    Try getting involved with Al-Anon. They can help and have online and telephone meetings. They provide tools to help with family or friends with alcoholism.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    We do our children a disservice if they are not taking care of themselves when they are adults. The problem isn't now, but when you are no longer around. What happens then?

    A friend of mine has an aunt like that. She is in her 60s and never had a job but instead was financially supported by her mother. Well, her mother passed away and she had not owned her home, so this aunt is now struggling to find someone who will let her live with them and to try to find employment. She finally found someone who was willing to let her live at the mobile home park they owned in exchange for some work, but this aunt became ill. Of course, with never having worked she had no savings and is not eligible for Social Security. So she is not receiving adequate medical care (because in this country medical care is a for-profit business). So, essentially she is waiting to die.

    Instead of kicking him out, how about mandating that he must have a full time job within X amount of weeks and he will pay you X amount of rent every month? And then give him a timeframe for moving out, say 4 months. Rentals are still available even during the pandemic and landlords are anxious to rent, so he should be able to find a place.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Talk to your doctor about what is happening. Perhaps they can get a social worker to look in on you. Make very sure he does not have access to your accounts or passwords, routinely check your credit scores. Ultimatums and timelines will not work.If they did he would be gone.

    Make sure you have a lot of people coming to the house, friends, neighbors, other family, attendants, help with chores, meals on wheels or whatever your disability or the community will provide. Develop as much independence (from him) as possible.

    This often helps to discourage grown kids like your son to engage in the elder/disabled abuse (financial, emotional and otherwise)Read up on it, you seem intimidated by him. The typical perpetrator is an unemployed adult child with a substance abuse problem.

    Start reading up on it: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by Tragicmouse
    I also have COPD (lung disease) and find it difficult to do the things I used to be capable of. Actually I just took an early retirement from a Government job because of my health issues.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I don't think it's a good idea to "have a lot of people coming to the house" during a pandemic when the OP has health issues (with all due respect to Wiseman).

    Rather, I stand by my advice...a timeline and if he doesn't comply, enforce the timeline.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Good catch. Yes have people come to the door or at least make it know that you have people. If you need a nurse or attendant they will be in masks and gloves anyway. But do not isolate yourself.
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I don't think it's a good idea to "have a lot of people coming to the house" during a pandemic when the OP has health issues (with all due respect to Wiseman).

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