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Thread: Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times???

  1. #11
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    78
    "The exhaustion he says he feels about trying to love me, left me wondering why should he be feeling exhausted. I have never forced him or pressured him. I only showed him love so he can respond to and receive my love. Love should flow naturally to the timing of ones heart. Why should he be trying?"


    Hi OP, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. It's hard to understand why someone would leave us if ourselves don't feel the need to.

    To answer your question above, it is exhausting to try to love someone we don't love. It's not a pressure coming from you but from himself. Since he thinks you're a great person and enjoy so many things about you, he really wants to make it work and tries to "feel" the kind of love needed to make this relationship work.
    That feeling flows naturally to you, it doesn't for him. Even after forcing himself twice. He probably feels guilty for not succeeding.

    You have to accept the reality even if it hurts: He likes you but he's not "in love" with you. Lonliness, regrets might make him come back and your refusal to accept reality will put you at risk to take him back and endure another break up.

    Give your self a chance to be loved by a man who will do it effortlessly. You'll be happy again if you take the time to heal from this. Also, adress the issues that made you stay with someone who didn't " feel it": maybe you are lonely in your life? Maybe you don't believe you can find true love so you settle?
    Spend time with your friends or make new ones. engage in group activities or a new hobby, meditate, travel if you can.
    Bottom line, it's time to create a great life for yourself. Only allow worthy people in it.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    23,180
    Really! Girl, why are you so hell bent on hurting yourself! Is he the only male in your town? Why haven't you blocked and deleted this guy?

    If he has not fallen involve with you in all of this time, he never will. Do better for yourself!

    " fool me twice, shame on me."

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    10,672
    What are the reasons he gives you for wanting to end it, OP?

    And good heavens no, another reconciliation will only result in a third break-up. Not Happily Ever After.

  4. #14
    Interesting feed backs. Thank you all very much. It's good to try and see situations from others perspective.

    Well, I am not lost for a good life. I consider myself very blessed. Love and romance is serious for me. He was not a jerk, at least I would not categorize him that way. I've been around his children and siblings and he has been around mine. Ive seen his good qualities and he has never ill treated me.

    Anyway, a month later he did reach out to me via text (some of you predicted that he would, likely out of boredom or guilt.) what ever his reason or objective behind his text it did not warrant a response from me. Yes, I do love him still, but I am not delusional of us getting back together. If he does come back I will deal with that at that time if it ever comes. Thanks again for your feedbacks. It helps. Shalom!

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