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Thread: Feeling used and abused

  1. #181
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Shouldn't this thread be about helping you rather than the guessing games about her supposed diagnoses?

    Yes, everyone can tell you she's crazy, whatever but that's not helpful.
    Originally Posted by Jas76
    An interesting article:

  2. #182
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You keep diagnosing her with all these conditions yet you want to keep her in your life.

    What do you think that says about you?

  3. #183
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Have you done the same amount of online research to find out what is up with you?

    You're wasting an awful lot of time and emotional energy trying to find out if she has a personaltiy disorder. That would be time you could spend sorting yourself out. Because at the end of the day, this woman will disappear from your life. She's not going to hang around long when she figures out she can't repeatedly wipe her feet on you. She isn't going to want platonic, but that doesn't serve her purpose enough. She will find someone else to target, and you won't feel great being "friends" when you know she's playing some other man. So, all of these articles you keep digging up won't serve much purpose when she's not in the picture anymore.

    But your own problems will still exist. That's where you need help.
    I know what is up with me, hence the reason I'm engaging with therapy. I also know that I get lonely sometimes, and perhaps too easily attached to people. I am going to be far more selective going forward.

    Yes, I think you're right regarding the platonic stuff, particularly as I don't think she has a hope in hell of finding someone 20 years younger than her to show any interest, and probably not even someone around her own age once they realise what that have got involved with, particularly if they have any sense, hence the reason she was single for a long time before she met me. Her explosive and manipulative behaviour in respect to her sexual agenda are somewhat indicative of this.

  4. #184
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sounds like a neutral response to avoid more arguing.
    That may play a part, but I think the main cause is an ego defence mechanism.

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  6. #185
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Shouldn't this thread be about helping you rather than the guessing games about her supposed diagnoses?

    Yes, everyone can tell you she's crazy, whatever but that's not helpful.
    I've looked into it quite a bit as you can tell, and I know her far better than any psychologist or psychiatrist could, so it's an educated guess.

    It's helpful to the extent of how best to deal with her, and whether I should give up and avoid her entirely. In other words, it's helping me make an informed decision.

  7. #186
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You keep diagnosing her with all these conditions yet you want to keep her in your life.

    What do you think that says about you?
    It says that I would like to treat people with mental health problems fairly, and not with feelings of prejudice. I think I'm out of my depth here though, as she's way too abusive and manipulative at times, and anything I say, no matter how good the intention is, that isn't received well usually leads to her becoming hostile, argumentative or manipulative.

  8. #187
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Does she want to continue chatting with you?
    Originally Posted by Jas76
    I know her far better than any psychologist or psychiatrist could

  9. #188
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    Originally Posted by Jas76
    I've looked into it quite a bit as you can tell, and I know her far better than any psychologist or psychiatrist could, so it's an educated guess.
    If you have no formal background in psychiatry, it is absolutely not an educated guess. It's a guess based on very superficial information you Googled, about a woman you don't actually know that well. You are likely not familiar with the clinical diagnostic criteria of any personality disorder, unless you have access to academic, peer-reviewed materials and have experience in identifying, diagnosing, and treating mental health conditions. This isn't your case, is it?

    You are enabling your own obsessive thinking here, man, and it's only keeping you stuck. This is the reason she honed in on you; she could detect your weaknesses a mile away. She knows exactly how to exploit them.

    The only thing you can really do is not complain about it when she hurts you again. You're signing up for this if you continue to involve yourself with this person.

  10. #189
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Does she want to continue chatting with you?
    Not sure. Not heard from her today. Seems my message regarding her emotional dysregulation hasn't gone down well at all.

  11. #190
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If she messages, try to keep it light and polite.
    Originally Posted by Jas76
    Not sure. Not heard from her today. Seems my message regarding her emotional dysregulation hasn't gone down well at all.

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