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Thread: How do I move on from a horrific first love?

  1. #51

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    The thing is you are not the only person to see an abusive relationship. My parents relationship included mental, emotional, physical, sexual, and financial abuse. My husband in the beginning was emotionally abusive but after much therapy got himself sorted out.
    I just never realized how easy it is to fall into an abusive cycle. I never thought I would abuse or be a victim of abuse. Thank you for your help despite me being a harasser/stalker etc. I really do know that I have to stop.

  2. #52
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    I just never realized how easy it is to fall into an abusive cycle. I never thought I would abuse or be a victim of abuse. Thank you for your help despite me being a harasser/stalker etc. I really do know that I have to stop.
    For the record I donít think youíre a terrible person I think youíre a very confused person. ❤️

  3. #53

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    For the record I donít think youíre a terrible person I think youíre a very confused person. ❤️
    Thank you so much :( that means a lot to me. I never wanted to hurt him so much. I just am very unstable and lost. Iíve never had to deal with rejection at such a magnitude. It hurts that he has to be a life lesson.

  4. #54
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    Stop beating yourself up so much. You are not the first person to reach out to an ex numerous times or be blocked. You are not going to end up in jail. If he reported you to police they would just tell him to block you which he has already.
    You canít contact him anymore anyway and thatís a good thing.

    Stop focusing on the fact that he promised he would get in touch. People make promises they never intend to keep all the time. He probably just said that to soften the blow of the breakup and at that point didnít think you would contact him so much.

    A wedding vow is a public promise to stay with their spouse for life yet divorces happen.

    So, no , I doubt he will ever get in touch again.
    And thatís ok. What would be the point anyway.
    He probably doesnít hate you , just doesnít want to be in contact with you which is common after a break up.

    Your desperation for him to get in touch is just to seek validation that you are not a bad person.
    But you donít need his validation.

    You are NOT a bad or crazy person. Just someone struggling to come to terms with the rejection.
    But rejection is normal in life. And something you need to learn to cope with.

    People get rejected much more in life than accepted.

    Every single person here has been rejected by another , several times.

    You will be fine and that is a promise with intent!!
    Promise me that you will come back here in a months time to let us know that you are fine!!!

    Best of luck!!!

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  6. #55

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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Stop beating yourself up so much. You are not the first person to reach out to an ex numerous times or be blocked. You are not going to end up in jail. If he reported you to police they would just tell him to block you which he has already.
    You canít contact him anymore anyway and thatís a good thing.

    Stop focusing on the fact that he promised he would get in touch. People make promises they never intend to keep all the time. He probably just said that to soften the blow of the breakup and at that point didnít think you would contact him so much.

    A wedding vow is a public promise to stay with their spouse for life yet divorces happen.

    So, no , I doubt he will ever get in touch again.
    And thatís ok. What would be the point anyway.
    He probably doesnít hate you , just doesnít want to be in contact with you which is common after a break up.

    Your desperation for him to get in touch is just to seek validation that you are not a bad person.
    But you donít need his validation.

    You are NOT a bad or crazy person. Just someone struggling to come to terms with the rejection.
    But rejection is normal in life. And something you need to learn to cope with.

    People get rejected much more in life than accepted.

    Every single person here has been rejected by another , several times.

    You will be fine and that is a promise with intent!!
    Promise me that you will come back here in a months time to let us know that you are fine!!!

    Best of luck!!!
    Thank you so much. I think there is still a chance I could go to jail if I really persisted. But I wonít. I certainly would never go to his house or make violent threats that would really force him to get a restraining order or call the police... When he broke up with me, I told him I was scared we would hate each other and never speak again. And he promised it wouldnít happen and that he swears he will reach out one day. I guess I anticipated that I would break no contact a lot and I thought if I said that and he promised otherwise, that he would remember what he promised and reach out one day. Right now I canít bear the thought that I will never speak to him again. Heís my first love. How could someone who once wanted to marry me and have children with me never speak again. I know people can change their minds. The last time I contacted him, I was trying to find out if he changed his mind and if he had, that he should tell me. But he never responded. Just blocked all the accounts I made. I feel like I am crazy and I need to go to an asylum or something. You really donít think Iím crazy?? The other commenters seemed to indicate that I am very mentally unsound. I still love him and miss him even though I know we sucked together. Itís like a horrible nightmare that I want to wake up from.... thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I will come back and update if I am better!! I really hope I am. I canít harass him anymore. I really have to stop this time.

  7. #56

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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Stop beating yourself up so much. You are not the first person to reach out to an ex numerous times or be blocked. You are not going to end up in jail. If he reported you to police they would just tell him to block you which he has already.
    You canít contact him anymore anyway and thatís a good thing.

    Stop focusing on the fact that he promised he would get in touch. People make promises they never intend to keep all the time. He probably just said that to soften the blow of the breakup and at that point didnít think you would contact him so much.

    A wedding vow is a public promise to stay with their spouse for life yet divorces happen.

    So, no , I doubt he will ever get in touch again.
    And thatís ok. What would be the point anyway.
    He probably doesnít hate you , just doesnít want to be in contact with you which is common after a break up.

    Your desperation for him to get in touch is just to seek validation that you are not a bad person.
    But you donít need his validation.

    You are NOT a bad or crazy person. Just someone struggling to come to terms with the rejection.
    But rejection is normal in life. And something you need to learn to cope with.

    People get rejected much more in life than accepted.

    Every single person here has been rejected by another , several times.

    You will be fine and that is a promise with intent!!
    Promise me that you will come back here in a months time to let us know that you are fine!!!

    Best of luck!!!
    I have to say though, it wasnít just being blocked. I made alternate accounts/phone numbers etc to get in contact with him. He has probably had to block over 50 numbers and accounts because of me... Thatís why itís harassment and not just reaching out/being blocked. It is pretty horrible and not many people stoop this low...

  8. #57
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I never said you were "mentally unsound". I don't know that anyone else other than YOU said that.

    I did say you should tell your parents how you are feeling, particularly since you said you are suicidal. Your parents would be absolutely devastated if you took your own life.

    The longer you go without contacting him the better you will be.

    Please confide in your parents.

  9. #58

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I never said you were "mentally unsound". I don't know that anyone else other than YOU said that.

    I did say you should tell your parents how you are feeling, particularly since you said you are suicidal. Your parents would be absolutely devastated if you took your own life.

    The longer you go without contacting him the better you will be.

    Please confide in your parents.
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I never said you were "mentally unsound". I don't know that anyone else other than YOU said that.

    I did say you should tell your parents how you are feeling, particularly since you said you are suicidal. Your parents would be absolutely devastated if you took your own life.

    The longer you go without contacting him the better you will be.

    Please confide in your parents.
    Oh I donít mean you!! I mean the person who said I was looking for reasons to abuse him, Iím dramatic and that Iím a bratty teen etc. Iím sorry if you thought I meant you. :( I know you are trying to help me. I donít think I could ever really take my own life as Iím very afraid of death. But it is bad to want it of course. I have spoken to my parents but they havenít made a decision yet. I know I canít contact him. I donít want to go to jail or hurt him any longer or continue to feel so lost/sad.

  10. #59
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    I have to say though, it wasnít just being blocked. I made alternate accounts/phone numbers etc to get in contact with him. He has probably had to block over 50 numbers and accounts because of me... Thatís why itís harassment and not just reaching out/being blocked. It is pretty horrible and not many people stoop this low...
    Good thing you recognise this as clearly this IS harassment in the full meaning of the word. You are clearly crossing the line and if you continue down this path you WILL find yourself in big trouble with the authorities. Just think about it. Really think about it. Please respect his wishes and leave him alone. No-one deserves to be harassed in this way. Please don't stoop any lower. Get the help you need and focus on getting yourself in a mentally healthier place.

  11. #60
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    I have spoken to my parents but they havenít made a decision yet..
    I'm a little confused. You spoke to them while you were online posting here?? ~confused~

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