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Thread: How do I move on from a horrific first love?

  1. #21

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    As someone who has been stalked and harassed being the one it is done to is worse. Please stop. It is abuse.
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I think you need some help distinguish what is healthy and what is toxic. Start with your doctor and ask for counselling services. Not all relationships are meant to last whether romantic or friendships or whatever. Two highly toxic people should never be together. Getting in touch again is a BAD idea.
    Youíre right of course. I definitely need therapy of some sort. I think I used to be stable and mentally okay before this relationship. But being with him completely messed up my morals because he manipulated and gaslighted me a lot. Iíve lost my way. And Iíve gotten so used to the pain and toxicity that I crave it now in a very weird way. Iím so sorry to him and myself for continuing the toxic cycle. I am just very messed up. Weíre both pretty young and when we broke up he said that we are just very immature but one day when we are more mature we can be friends and he will reach out. But I guess all of that is void because of my actions. Thank you for your advice. It just breaks my heart that itís like this now. Of course I know it is my own doing and I have to live with the consequences.

  2. #22
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    He has stopped abusing you at this point now you are just abusing yourself.

  3. #23

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    As someone who has been stalked and harassed being the one it is done to is worse. Please stop. It is abuse.
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Then why are you chasing him? There is no free therapy here or professional diagnoses. You need to see a doctor, a physician, an MD. You have insurance for that. It starts with helping yourself. Reading mystical nonsense on the internet is not the answer to obsessions.
    I donít know why I am chasing him. Itís part of the cycle of toxicity. Iíve gotten so used to the abuse and rejection and pain. Thank you for being harsh and blunt I guess. Thatís the only thing that will get it through my delusional head.

  4. #24

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    As someone who has been stalked and harassed being the one it is done to is worse. Please stop. It is abuse.
    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    He has stopped abusing you at this point now you are just abusing yourself.
    Yeah youíre right. I donít know why Iím like this. I feel like Iíll never get over it and itís a permanent wound.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    Yeah youíre right. I donít know why Iím like this. I feel like Iíll never get over it and itís a permanent wound.
    Please tell your parents. They love you and want to help you.

  7. #26

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    As someone who has been stalked and harassed being the one it is done to is worse. Please stop. It is abuse.
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Leave him alone forever.

    Contacting him when he doesn't respond hurts, doesn't it? So why keep trying?

    If you knew eating shrimp made you horribly sick would you go the store to buy shrimp, cook it and eat it? Or would you avoid it?

    Do you have a sister, cousin, or maybe your mom, your aunt, a friend you can contact when you start thinking it's a great idea to contact him again?
    I will have to leave him forever. And I guess he will leave me alone forever because he thinks I am crazy and toxic. Which I am. Iím just very delusional I guess. I really am just crazy and need a lot of mental help.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    I will have to leave him forever. And I guess he will leave me alone forever because he thinks I am crazy and toxic. Which I am. Iím just very delusional I guess. I really am just crazy and need a lot of mental help.
    Again, please tell your parents. I have adult kids and I would absolutely help them if they ever needed me to.

  9. #28

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    As someone who has been stalked and harassed being the one it is done to is worse. Please stop. It is abuse.
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Please tell your parents. They love you and want to help you.
    My mom thinks I am dumb for not being over him. She got mad at me for not being over him 2 days after the breakup... I will get therapy as soon as I can access it myself at my college. But thatís a few months from now.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    There is no health insurance in your country for seeing doctors (not talk therapy)? Are you covered under your parents insurance? You need a lot more than talk therapy. He blocked you, so game over. Now it's your responsibility to talk to a trusted adult and get to a doctor.

    He did not cause all these problems, they were merely uncovered by the breakup. Stop blaming him for all the world's problems and all your psychiatric issues. If you reflect honestly you'll see things were amiss before you ever met him.
    Originally Posted by vp613
    Iím starting to hate you/stop it to no response and just blocking me.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    My mom thinks I am dumb for not being over him. She got mad at me for not being over him 2 days after the breakup... I will get therapy as soon as I can access it myself at my college. But thatís a few months from now.
    But have you explained how you are currently feeling? If one of my kids felt the way you do I would move Heaven and Earth to help them.

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