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Thread: How do I move on from a horrific first love?

  1. #11

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Stop contacting me means leave me alone. Donít want to end up in jail? Stop. Many fish in the sea.
    Thatís very harsh but I guess I deserve that. Why couldnít he just say to leave him alone forever... I feel like Iím struggling to let go of any hope that he will keep his promise because he hasnít said he wonít.

  2. #12
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    Thatís very harsh but I guess I deserve that. Why couldnít he just say to leave him alone forever... I feel like Iím struggling to let go of any hope that he will keep his promise because he hasnít said he wonít.
    As someone who has been stalked and harassed being the one it is done to is worse. Please stop. It is abuse.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    He did too tell you to leave him alone:
    "his reaction went from I miss you too to Iím starting to hate you/stop it to no response and just blocking me."

    Generally when someone blocks you it's because they don't want to hear from you.

    You can too help yourself, you're choosing not to.

    Next time you start thinking it's an excellent idea to try to contact him, contact a friend or family member instead. Let them know ahead of time you're struggling and will be asking for help. People who care about you will be happy to help.

  4. #14

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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    As someone who has been stalked and harassed being the one it is done to is worse. Please stop. It is abuse.
    Iím sorry. I know Iím awful and selfish. I really do want to stop. I know I have to. I guess I never thought he would resent me so much. So even if I stop now and move on, he will never reach out like he promised to, right? He emotionally abused me during the relationship. Do you think my attachment could be because of a trauma bond? Iím sorry if thatís insensitive to ask. I just donít understand why Iím so obsessed when I know he was bad for me. Do you think Iím crazy or a psycho??

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  6. #15

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    Yeah youíre right. I guess I mean does he mean leave me alone forever or ?? But Iím just being delusional at this point. I just canít believe he never wants to speak to me again. Thank you for being kind even though I am not a good person. I donít really have anyone I can talk to about this. A large reason why Iím so obsessed is because I was way too dependent on him for companionship. Iím just hurting myself and making myself relive the breakup/rejection. I guess itís because being rejected is better than nothing.

  7. #16
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    Iím sorry. I know Iím awful and selfish. I really do want to stop. I know I have to. I guess I never thought he would resent me so much. So even if I stop now and move on, he will never reach out like he promised to, right? He emotionally abused me during the relationship. Do you think my attachment could be because of a trauma bond? Iím sorry if thatís insensitive to ask. I just donít understand why Iím so obsessed when I know he was bad for me. Do you think Iím crazy or a psycho??
    I think you need some help distinguish what is healthy and what is toxic. Start with your doctor and ask for counselling services. Not all relationships are meant to last whether romantic or friendships or whatever. Two highly toxic people should never be together. Getting in touch again is a BAD idea.

  8. #17
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    No one is saying you are bad they are just telling you to stop and itís within your control.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Then why are you chasing him? There is no free therapy here or professional diagnoses. You need to see a doctor, a physician, an MD. You have insurance for that. It starts with helping yourself. Reading mystical nonsense on the internet is not the answer to obsessions.
    Originally Posted by vp613
    He emotionally abused me during the relationship.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    Yeah youíre right. I guess I mean does he mean leave me alone forever or ?? But Iím just being delusional at this point. I just canít believe he never wants to speak to me again. Thank you for being kind even though I am not a good person. I donít really have anyone I can talk to about this. A large reason why Iím so obsessed is because I was way too dependent on him for companionship. Iím just hurting myself and making myself relive the breakup/rejection. I guess itís because being rejected is better than nothing.
    Leave him alone forever.

    Contacting him when he doesn't respond hurts, doesn't it? So why keep trying?

    If you knew eating shrimp made you horribly sick would you go the store to buy shrimp, cook it and eat it? Or would you avoid it?

    Do you have a sister, cousin, or maybe your mom, your aunt, a friend you can contact when you start thinking it's a great idea to contact him again?

  11. #20
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vp613
    Thatís very harsh but I guess I deserve that. Why couldnít he just say to leave him alone forever... I feel like Iím struggling to let go of any hope that he will keep his promise because he hasnít said he wonít.
    It is actually not harsh it is just not what you want to hear.

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