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Thread: Trying not to feel discouraged!

  1. #1
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    Trying not to feel discouraged!

    I honestly didnít know if this belonged in the Health forum or the emotions forum.

    After a very disappointing surgery that just resulted in unnecessary pain. Iíve been feeling less hope that I can get my health issues sorted out. I see a new doctor tomorrow, however in the back of my mind I keep thinking itís another run around.

    Iím trying to be hopeful and not angry or bitter. Iím trying to preserve some sanity and clarity.

    My birthday is on July 7th and Iíll be 38. Itís another year of not being closer to where I want to be in terms of personal goals. Itís another year of health issues. I start out the year on each birthday with a plan in mind and itís a good plan, loose weight, reclaim my health...

    Then it gets muddied along the way. Iím still persevering and Iím lucky for the constant emotional support I get at home and from my boyfriend. Iím very blessed in that retrospect.

    I guess tonight I feel sad and like a failure.

    Thank you for letting me rant.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. I can't imagine how awful, scary and frustrating it must be for you. It must be so hard to stay strong when you never get any answers. I hope and pray seeing a new doctor will finally lead to light at the end of the tunnel. ((cyber hugs))

  3. #3
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    Big hugs to you and wishing you all the best!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Hopefully tomorrow will bring some answers and a solid plan to get yout feeling better.

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  6. #5
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    Been there, have the t-shirt. You should in NO WAY feel like a failure, you are doing what you need to do for a solution and therefore, you are succeeding. Sooner or later, especially if you go to different sources, you will find a way out of this. It is completely unrealistic to expect to reach all your physical and life goals when you have a major health problem, it simply cannot happen. I know we live in a day and age when people practically act like if you have an issue it is because of a character disorder (or you simply aren't trying hard enough to be healthy). That is not the case and don't let that affect you negatively. Keep fighting, you will eventually find a solution and can work from there. And by the way, it may take a while to recover from whatever the solution is, and that is also FINE. This notion that we are all supposed to bounce back immediately is very damaging.

    You are doing the right thing, you have nothing to feel like a failure about. Nothing.

  7. #6
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Thinking of you, Lisa!

    Hang in there, and *Hugs*

  8. #7
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Oh, honey. My heart goes out to you. I share your birthday, sister. ((HUG))

    I'm a lot older than you, and much closer to a recognition that our calendar is arbitrary and doesn't cooperate with our plans. So toss it, and focus instead on one step at a time. Liberate yourself from deadlines, especially in this pandemic time of 'pause'.

    Was this the surgery to remove a bladder mass? How was it unsuccessful, or is more time required to really know?

    You continue to be in my thoughts and wishes for peace and recovery.
    Love,
    Cat

  9. #8
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    Hoping that the new doctor can provide some well deserved answers.

    Hang in there!!!!

  10. #9
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    What was the result of your surgery?
    It was only 8 days ago. Could that surgeon not remove the mass?
    Or what was the outcome?

    Have you been referred by that surgeon to the Dr you are seeing tomorrow or is it you seeking a second opinion?

    Sometimes surgery while not giving you the desired outcome , still gives physicians a clearer picture of whatís going on and therefore the pain is perhaps a necessary evil?

  11. #10
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    Thank you all for the posts!

    The surgeon couldnít get to the mass. She basically told me before the surgery that she knew exactly where it was and would remove it. I woke up finding out she wasnít able to get it. The mass is at the bottom of the bladder near the right ureter.

    Iím not upset that she couldnít reach it as it is now out of her realm. Iím disappointed that now thereís nothing more so Iím being shifted onto the next doctor. A Urologist Oncologist.

    I just pray today he tells me that he can help me.

    This allusive mass has been confusing different doctors.

    Iím grateful the exact location has been pinpointed of where the mass actually is.

    Thank you those for the advice as to not feel Iím set back for another birthday. I really appreciate that and youíre right! I just needed to read that and be assured there shouldnít be timelines or deadlines.

    Billie I think this pain is a necessary evil now that you mention it. As disappointed as I am the surgery didnít go the way planned and that Iím in pain and allergic to the incisions. I realize now the exact location of the mass is pin pointed. Thatís a step ahead of where I was back in November.

    Virtual Hugs back to all of you!

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