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Thread: Was he controlling me?

  1. #1
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    Was he controlling me?

    My bf broke up with me after 4 years because he said I was being difficult and challenging but I have no idea what he means. He said he asked me if I was going to have a shower one morning and I said no I will have one when I get home as all my shampoo and gel is there and he used that as the example of when I challenged him. I thought that was really unfair as I didn't even realise that my comment to have the shower at home even bothered him. But now he has said this I have been thinking and I recall times when i have wanted to talk about something like why dont he kiss me much or things to do with us he would tell me to ssshhh and say why are you being like this so that would shut me up and I wouldn't carry on with the convo. We always did what he wanted, he would not let me watch any shows on TV I liked when I was at his I had to watch what he liked but I didnt care as was happy to just be with him and if i was watching anything he would turn it over. He also mentioned my hair was greasy when he popped over to my garden during lockdown as a reason he ended it. My mum told me that he thought he was controlling me but I couldn't see it but now I'm wondering if his behaviour was a form of controlling? We went on holiday with my kids last year and he would expect them to like what he liked and got annoyed that my son was taking his time in the morning and accused him of doing it on purpose to ruin the day. He didnt like our towels hanging up in the bathroom and told me to move them coz he could smell them. What does anybody think of this?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Thus guy was a jerk. It was a mistake to subject your kids to him. I'm sure they didn't enjoy being treated that way.

    In the future please don't expose your kids to a man who treats you this horribly. You can choose to involve yourself with a jerk but your kids didn't make that choice.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It's time for you to replace your boyfriend.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that. Listen to your mother, be glad you are rid of him and his negativity. He sounds like an abusive jerk. Now... do not go back. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps.
    Originally Posted by What a mug
    My bf broke up with me after 4 years

    i have wanted to talk about something like why dont he kiss me much or things to do with us he would tell me to ssshhh and say why are you being like this so that would shut me up and I wouldn't carry on with the convo.

    My mum told me that he thought he was controlling me but I couldn't see it

    We went on holiday with my kids last year and he would expect them to like what he liked.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    He sounds like a total douchebag
    Dont go back to him when he reaches out to you, which he will!

  7. #6
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    He sounds like a complete azzhole. Why would you date someone like this?

    He did not respect you!

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    Controlling or not, he sounds like a giant jerk!

    He definitely should be easy to get over if you think about how much you’re better off.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I'd be glad he dumped me, if I was you! What a jerk and yes he was trying to control you. Be happy he's out of your life.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Okay, so it sounds very one sided. I mean, if this were all true, why would you stay with someone like that and further more, why be heartbroken when he left?

    What did you do that upset him? Did you maybe not keep yourself as clean? I'm not saying he wasn't a jerk or that he didn't do things wrong, I just feel like I am only hearing one side of the story. You're making it sound as though he was brutal to you and you did nothing but you still want him?

  11. #10
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Ask yourself, do you feel relieved that you dont have to face all that drama again?
    if you fell for him for all the good in him then be assured that was all just some mask.
    Can you live with this true nature of his forever? Think how it could affect your kids and your mental well being.
    Time to move on here for a better, respecful and loving future for you and your kids.
    Never look back.

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