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Thread: Mysterious message

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Focus on how bad the marriage is because of this instead of playing tech detective.
    Originally Posted by anonymous56
    he has to defend himself.

  2. #22
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    And what else has he lied about before?

  3. #23
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    And what else has he lied about before?
    I have caught him on many occasions lying to people how we met, and the details of his past for some reason. When confronted he says I am calling him a liar and denies it.

    We recently had an argument about him flipping out on one of our new friends. He said he didn't flip out and nobody thought so. Then later said: 'He (the person) told me later that he understood why I flipped out.' When I said, 'but you said no one even mentioned that you flipped out and kept on saying afterwards how good your game was (we were playing a game)', he got upset. We were playing this game online and I had already left the call at that time.

  4. #24
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    If he lies about random and seemingly inconsequential things, such as how you met...I would assume he is most definitely lying about something that could actually land him in hot water- such as speaking to this woman.

    It sounds like he's got an established pattern of dishonesty and turning things around on you. This latest episode is no exception.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Yes, I don't know how a video call could be considered hacking, since the two people who are speaking can see each other.

    Even if they were childhood friends and are not flirting, they seem to be overly involved in each others lives, since they are speaking regularly and know a lot about each others business.

    Secrets always have a way of coming out. Things don't add up in my mind. If I had terminal cancer, my focus would be on my health, and paying as much attention to my husband, kids, and other loved ones before my passing instead of some guy I used to know who hasn't been of any significance in my adult life. If they'd been that close, why didn't she attend the wedding and why are you now just finding out about her?

    And if it'd been me who was a Facebook friend of a childhood friend and I'd gotten a message from some guy's wife over a glitch and I wasn't at fault, I'd say: You know what? This is too much drama, and I'm just going to excuse myself from the situation and unfriend. I have enough stress in life and don't have time for this nonsense.

    Instead, she's appeasing, coddling, and it's really strange how she knows your anniversary date.

    It's up to you if you think this marriage is worth saving. If so, I'd readdress relationship boundaries now or upon his return, and possibly enter into couples counseling.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    It's obvious he's lying about it. BUT his lying has never made sense or had any real purpose over the years. This is learned behavior from childhood. A big flaw in his personality. It's very possible his parents never believed him when he repeatedly told the truth, but did when he told the lies...and so it begins. No matter the situation, he feels lying about it has the best results for dealing with anything. It's very possible nothing is going on romantically, they are just talking. As for the 3am call, the time change where he is would be a different hour right? It might be 3 am where you are but it could be 11am where he is.

    If she is sick with cancer, like most people would, must have posted something about it somewhere.

  8. #27
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    He has shown you, time and again that he cannot be trusted.

    Their story makes zero sense,

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    When you continually put someone on trial as if you are the prosecutor, judge and jury is that better than pathological lying? Why bother with the detective work and right-fighting?

    The lying is strange but so is chronically cross-examining your spouse. In this instance he has learned to dodge your wrath and confrontations, sadly by hiding things from you. It's not your fault he lies, but you seem to stay with him nonetheless.
    Originally Posted by anonymous56
    When confronted he says I am calling him a liar and denies it.

    I said, 'but you said..........

  10. #29
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    The old "my account has been hacked" excuse is BS. My ex-husband used that on me to hide his cheating and I was stupid enough to accept his explanation at the time. Your husband has got rid of the evidence, changed his password to stop you finding anything more and is generally gaslighting you big time. The "she's got cancer" might be true, but it's also quite likely that feeding you that line is to guilt you into not asking any further questions.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by anonymous56
    He has a history of trying to lie himself out of trouble, and getting angry when I try to confront him about it (like in this case) so this is what makes me almost sure that he is lying. However, my position isn't strong, since I have no actual proof that they did something dodgy.
    You don't need to prove anything. You don't trust him. That's all you need to know.

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