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Thread: Mysterious message

  1. #11
    Originally Posted by Lambert
    And that's the worst part, you are in a situation that puts YOUR HUSBAND opposite you.

    Try to think what does your gut tell you? The most important thing you can do, is stay true to yourself.

    It would be easy to let this go and play dumb. but if he is cheating and you find out in 5 years. he was lying all along. that self betrayal will be worse. because you knew it.

    Do you believe it was a hack? Do you think he's hiding something?
    No, I personally think it is ridiculous to think that a hacker would have a 21 minute phone call with a hacked person's friend. And I also believe that a facebook call log to someone he just so happened to be talking to recently, is not a glitch. The thought of it is just dumb to me.

    He has a history of trying to lie himself out of trouble, and getting angry when I try to confront him about it (like in this case) so this is what makes me almost sure that he is lying. However, my position isn't strong, since I have no actual proof that they did something dodgy.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is it possible the video call was with someone else rather than the woman you suspected and confronted? It's sad your situation is one of distrust, confrontation and lies, playing this detective game.
    Originally Posted by anonymous56
    He has a history of trying to lie himself out of trouble, and getting angry when I try to confront him about it (like in this case) so this is what makes me almost sure that he is lying.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by anonymous56
    No, I personally think it is ridiculous to think that a hacker would have a 21 minute phone call with a hacked person's friend. And I also believe that a facebook call log to someone he just so happened to be talking to recently, is not a glitch. The thought of it is just dumb to me.

    He has a history of trying to lie himself out of trouble, and getting angry when I try to confront him about it (like in this case) so this is what makes me almost sure that he is lying. However, my position isn't strong, since I have no actual proof that they did something dodgy.
    Why are some people liars like that? A few months ago I stopped seeing someone over dumb lies. It actually insulted my intelligence and I couldn't take it anymore. It's silly stuff, but now you're in a serious conundrum.

    So I guess the real question is do you think he's lying about / hiding an affair?

    Maybe take the time he is away to really think about how this has made you feel and what you need to happen. It could be the opportunity to talk about the lies to 'get out of trouble' it's time to grow up and own stuff. If he can't handle a little thing (what's an example of him getting in trouble?) truthfully, how can you believe him on big things?

    Deleting the file may have been a knee jerk reaction. No offense but is he not that smart? Does he play like he is not that smart? People know what they do... But a thing like deleting could be a panic and once done, can't be undone. He sounds like a kid. And you probably need to have that discussion, that you're not stupid and he's story is, as you say, a ridiculous thing that he is expecting you to believe.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    I just thought of something, why don't you do some Google research on Facebook hacks. I know when I used to be on Facebook and a friend got hacked, they would send links to friends in messenger.... It's worth it to see if this is a thing.

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  6. #15
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Is it possible the video call was with someone else rather than the woman you suspected and confronted? It's sad your situation is one of distrust, confrontation and lies, playing this detective game.
    Hey Wiseman. I doubt he would have called her profile to speak to someone else. I double checked the name and clicked on the profile to see it was her. He only had two messages in his inbox, the other was about a marketplace item so I didn't confuse the two.

  7. #16
    Originally Posted by Lambert
    I just thought of something, why don't you do some Google research on Facebook hacks. I know when I used to be on Facebook and a friend got hacked, they would send links to friends in messenger.... It's worth it to see if this is a thing.
    Thank you Lambert.
    I googled it. The most hacks seem to be around information stealing and getting money.

  8. #17
    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Why are some people liars like that? A few months ago I stopped seeing someone over dumb lies. It actually insulted my intelligence and I couldn't take it anymore. It's silly stuff, but now you're in a serious conundrum.

    So I guess the real question is do you think he's lying about / hiding an affair?

    Maybe take the time he is away to really think about how this has made you feel and what you need to happen. It could be the opportunity to talk about the lies to 'get out of trouble' it's time to grow up and own stuff. If he can't handle a little thing (what's an example of him getting in trouble?) truthfully, how can you believe him on big things?

    Deleting the file may have been a knee jerk reaction. No offense but is he not that smart? Does he play like he is not that smart? People know what they do... But a thing like deleting could be a panic and once done, can't be undone. He sounds like a kid. And you probably need to have that discussion, that you're not stupid and he's story is, as you say, a ridiculous thing that he is expecting you to believe.
    Yeah he has dyslexia and plays up sometimes that he doesn't know what he is doing when he has to defend himself. In fact, he tried to say that he wouldn't even know how to delete a message that quickly.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by anonymous56
    Yeah he has dyslexia and plays up sometimes that he doesn't know what he is doing when he has to defend himself. In fact, he tried to say that he wouldn't even know how to delete a message that quickly.
    Ugh... Good luck. Stay true to yourself and don't quiet your own objections to please him.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by anonymous56
    He has a history of trying to lie himself out of trouble, and getting angry when I try to confront him about it (like in this case)
    What else has he lied about?

    And his dyslexia "plays up"...say what? As an educator who works with many dyslexic adults, I fail to see how his dyslexia factors into this.

  11. #20
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    What else has he lied about?

    And his dyslexia "plays up"...say what? As an educator who works with many dyslexic adults, I fail to see how his dyslexia factors into this.
    I meant he plays up that he isn't clued up with technology. Not that he says his dyslexia plays up. Sorry for the misunderstanding. He told me that he hasn't been on facebook messenger so long he had to confirm his identity when he tried to check what I was talking about. Not sure what to think of that.

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