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Thread: Should I Press Charges?

  1. #1

    Should I Press Charges?

    I found out my girlfriend was cheating so completely ignored her and wanted nothing to do with her.

    Two weeks after she admitted cheating she sent me a random message that said Ďleave me alone, donít contact me againí which I though was odd because I hadnít had any contact for two weeks. But I ignored it.

    The following weekend I had a voicemail from her. (I donít have my phone in work so didnít see the call) on the voicemail she said she was standing at the edge of the train platform and she couldnít cope anymore and she was going to commit suicide. The time on the voicemail was 3 mins earlier so I tried calling, texting and messaging her to try and get in contact.

    Finally spoke to her and she said she was being taken to the hospital.

    I then didnít hear anything, until the police turned up at my house later in the week accusing and arresting me for harassment.

    What she did was give the police screenshots from her phone saying Ďdonít contact meí ect then the screenshots of the missed calls and messages from me saying Ďplease contact me Iím worriedí ect

    Luckily i still had the voicemail and I managed to play it to them, it was only then they believed me.


    Question is..Do I press charges?, sheís had/got mental health issues and ptsd, I want her to understand that she canít do that to people because if I had deleted that voicemail or answers the call, I would have been screwed. If I press charges then thatís what sends her over the edge and means she actually does something to herself I count live with myself for that, she has lost her job because of this as she used to work for the police so sheís suffered in a way.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Ever heard of never wrestle with a pig......?

    Block, delete, change numbers, clean any and all social media from her or her contacts and make everything private, change e-mails, if she ever shows up on your doorstep, don't talk to her, don't let her in - call the cops and let them deal with crazy.

    This woman doesn't just have some mental health issues, she is full blown pathological and dangerous. Think about it - she planned it, set you up, and like a total fool you walked right into it. Tango with her more, she'll come up with something more potent that will actually work next time. Please just go completely dark on her - never ever any contact again. Btw, someone who is suicidal isn't going to have the mental presence to set you up and call the cops on you...... Wrap your head around that please.

  3. #3
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    Well maybe don't press charges at the moment but definitely completely block her on everything and never speak to her again. She sounds extremely unstable! She needs to get help for her mental health, but since you're broken up you don't need to get involved.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    What, exactly, would be your goal in pressing charges?

    Either you want to stay embroiled in her drama, or you don't.

    It's your decision.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Why would you want to press charges while knowing that she cheated, followed by attempting to hang you by creating a set up?

    As far as wanting to "have nothing to do with her," why was she able to contact you? You're participating in a nasty game of catch me if you can, which has a good chance at backfiring.

    Your call...

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Go and make a police report giving details about her accusing you of harassment and how she tried to bait you. Show your proof that you did not.

    At this point, that's all you need to do. If asked if you want to press charges, say no. You are just trying to cover your butt so you won't be further accused but no need in causing more drama by pressing charges.

    Also block her everywhere so she has no chance of contacting you. Any emails or messages or anything that might get through, screenshot, and keep for reference sake. DO NOT reply no matter what.
    If she is writing you about suicide threats again, ring 911 and report it. But DO NOT contact her again under any circumstance.

  8. #7
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    What happened after you were arrested, OP? Do you have a lawyer advising you?

    Because that is the person best-suited to give you advice here, in terms of what your rights are and what you need to do to protect yourself from further false accusations.

    I agree with the others that pressing charges likely will not bring you peace or closure, and that you need to block and delete her in every way you can. Creating a bigger legal drama is going to keep you stuck in this messy woman's world for much longer than necessary.

  9. #8
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    As MissCanuck says get in touch with a lawyer for an advice, now that its police involved may be this can be closed amicably between both parties.
    Dont ever call her or message her again. Cut contact completely, no social media, no phone contacts for your own well being.
    Move on clean from this, you have a family, a future to look forward to.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Get a good lawyer and do what is advisable. Keep in mind pressing charges is another form of abuse and harassment, so you could compound your legal problems.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    As an aside, what country or US state do you live in where you got arrested for "harassment" based on the criteria you provided? I'd like to avoid that dystopia.

    Not knowing where you are, I couldn't even provide amateur advice. Contact a lawyer if you're so compelled. Generally speaking, the onus will be on the police to turn around and charge somebody for a false report. I doubt I'd be making any legal pursuits, but if I were to at all, it'd be seeing if I had a case for an unlawful arrest. Seems pretty bonkers unless you already had a restraining order placed against you. If you think she's damaging your reputation and livelihood, that'll be its own issue to discuss with a lawyer.

    While blocking is 99% of the time good advice, I wouldn't do it in this case. She's demonstrated she's willing to involve law enforcement. You'll want any and all documentation you can get should she decide to doctor her own in the future. Don't engage. Don't reply. Live your life.

  12. 06-27-2020, 12:34 PM

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