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Thread: Did I ruin a rekindling Chance with ex gf of 3yrs?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    The girl you met at 21 is not your soulmate or your forever relationship. These early life relationships are all about learning - who you are, who you should be or shouldn't be, how to be in a relationship, and so on. Neither one of you is experienced and mature enough to sustain a life long relationship, so stop beating yourself up because ultimately, it does take two to fight. She wasn't perfect either.

    You seriously need to work on your self esteem and self respect. She isn't responsible for that and didn't destroy anything. You either have it or you need to get some. It comes from you, never other people.

    Try to avoid dramatic words like "abusive ex" in her story. She isn't giving you the kind of headspace that you are imagining.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cchance11
    Now I’m the horrible and mentally abusive ex in her story.
    This is actually your story, one you are, right now, choosing to tell. That's more reflective of your own sense of self than anything to do with her. Her story? Well, that's hers, something she can make whatever she wants. Maybe give that some thought, so you can approach all this—your past, your present, your future—with more heart and less ego. People are just people, at the end of the day, not actors in other people's stories.

    Sorry you're still hurting, truly. You'll hurt less when you divest from this story and invest in bolstering some inner pillars that are asking for some attention right now. Your relationship with others will only ever be as strong as the one you have with yourself.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If she was referring to you, why would she text you? Could it have been a butt dial?
    Originally Posted by Cchance11
    Now I’m the horrible and mentally abusive ex in her story. It just hurts, it flat out sucks.

  4. #24
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    I only say that I am described like that in her story because she has tweeted/retweeted about her most recent ex (me) several times since our split. Usually very negative ones to boot. Even in her newly ended relationship.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    I would delete and block her and all her people from all your devices, contact lists, social media and messaging apps. Who needs this rubbish flooding your mind?

    Ex rants are a silly and an all too common situation on social media. It is just noise you don't need in your life. It's up to you to decide what you do and do not allow in your life.
    Originally Posted by Cchance11
    I only say that I am described like that in her story because she has tweeted/retweeted about her most recent ex (me) several times since our split. Usually very negative ones to boot. Even in her newly ended relationship.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cchance11
    I only say that I am described like that in her story because she has tweeted/retweeted about her most recent ex (me) several times since our split. Usually very negative ones to boot. Even in her newly ended relationship.
    Close the chapter, Cc. Do it.

    Move on. Love yourself.

    It doesn't matter what she writes. Learn from the mistakes, know how to shake off the rest. You have your whole life ahead of you.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    maybe this is best thing that could have happened. you've given yourself time, but you haven't really done the work to let go and move on. one last band aid to rip off.

    See her for what she actually is needy and immature. 1. posting snarky memes or whatever about an ex that she is still friends with on social media, WHILE in a relationship with someone else. Sounds to me like a cry for attention and drama... which shouldn't that have come from her boyfriend?

    2. the hey message. what about all those snarky posts? oh she needs someone now... so its all heyyyyyy.... you're only the vilian ex when her boyfriend is around. now that she's lonely, you'll do.

    Face this hurt and look to yourself. Why does she have this power over you? because you give it to her. believe it or not she's a mere mortal, just like the rest of us. you can and will find better.

    Time to man up and forgive yourself. place blame where it belongs -- on both of you. Accept these things happen. We live, learn and move on with new hotties and good times to be had!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    If you want to exit her 'story,' stop reading it.

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