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Thread: Did I ruin a rekindling Chance with ex gf of 3yrs?

  1. #11
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    I agree with what everyone else is saying.

    Basically she became void of attention and reached out to someone she assumed was weak and would fill that void while she is grieving the loss of her recent breakup.

    Well too bad for her that she doesnít get to use you for that because you had the strength not to reply to her pathetic ďheyĒ

    If she reached out to you 6-12 months after being single that would be a different story , but if she was to do that with sincerity , she wouldnít message a simple ďheyĒ

    Good on you for recognising that her message was bs and not responding.
    Itís the perfect time to block her btw!!
    She knows your friends , probably family etc or how to get in touch if she was sincere despite being blocked.
    Donít allow her to waste your time again.

    Good luck!!

  2. #12
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    she is messing with you testing the waters you want to be the bait, hell no...you are doing way better now right?.
    Close this chapter, start a new one!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I don't think there's any way of knowing.

    Both of you didn't work while you were together. For some reason this person didn't keep you motivated or interested enough to keep the spark alive.

    Trust in that and trust your instincts. Trust that that the relationship ended for a reason.

    It's normal to miss those we used to care about. Just learn to put some distance between the both of you, heal and invite new people into your life.

    If there are any lessons to learn about yourself, learn now.

    Keep the faith.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I don't think there's any way of knowing.

    Both of you didn't work while you were together. For some reason this person didn't keep you motivated or interested enough to keep the spark alive.

    Trust in that and trust your instincts. Trust that that the relationship ended for a reason.

    It's normal to miss those we used to care about. Just learn to put some distance between the both of you, heal and invite new people into your life.

    If there are any lessons to learn about yourself, learn now.

    Keep the faith.
    This is excellent advice.. the only cures for fear or doubt is faith and trust.

    Your story is unfolding ahead of you, not behind you.

    Keep going!

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  6. #15
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    A text of "hey" is ZERO effort on her part. Her interest in you was to whine about the recent break up. Doesn't she have girlfriends or a sister to do that with?

    Don't be her agony auntie.

    In fact, as others have suggested, don't be anything at all to her.

    Time to shake her off entirely.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    After all this time she texted you "hey"??? Reeeeaaaaally???!!!!

    Deleting and not responding is truly the best thing you've ever done for yourself. This wasn't some grand opportunity to reconcile. This was her showing you how very little she thinks of you " hey doormat, if I say 'hey', you'll jump and come galloping to stroke my ego, right?"

    So past due for you to close this chapter for good and move on to better women. Since you keep checking her social media, do yourself a huge favor and just block her from everywhere - phone, social media, etc. You've got to move on already.

  8. #17
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    I have not even thought of trying to date other women. This last one left me broken. It was my fault it ended in the first place. My ego was shattered and I canít imagine putting forth another attempt in effort to get broken again.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Cchance11
    I have not even thought of trying to date other women. This last one left me broken. It was my fault it ended in the first place. My ego was shattered and I canít imagine putting forth another attempt in effort to get broken again.
    That's giving someone who doesn't even respect you a whole lot of power over you, your life, and your future.

    Dude, you are only 24 and have your whole life ahead of you. Learn how to let go of the past. Yes, you might not have been stellar, but you learn to be better and move on. You do NOT cling to the past and let that wreck your life.

    I get it that right now you don't feel like dating, however you absolutely need to block her. Every single time you look, every single contact, no matter how underhanded and insulting, keeps you stuck and stuck. You were starting to heal and get better until the "hey" bs, and now you are back to square one. A lot of this is you torturing yourself. Guilt has no value. You can't get stuck living in the past. All you can do is learn and be better for someone else once you are ready.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Cchance11
    I have not even thought of trying to date other women. This last one left me broken. It was my fault it ended in the first place. My ego was shattered and I can’t imagine putting forth another attempt in effort to get broken again.
    Seriously dude, you are putting far too much weight in the past and reveling in your hurt.

    You can date women at a MUCH less intense level.

    Lighten up on your self, your expectations.

    Maybe have some fun?

  11. #20
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    Youíre absolutely right about being hung up on the past. Iím 100% sure in the next relationship I will know when Iím doing something inconsiderate or intolerable to my partner. But itís just so hard not wanting that person who gets the improved me to be her. She was an amazing girlfriend and I was moving past the thought of us in the last year or so. Now Iím back on these websites looking at my posts of 3yrs ago kicking myself how blatantly Obvious the signs of rekindling were. I chose to ignore her in hopes she would miss me more and she gave up. Went on to her newly ended relationship. Now Iím the horrible and mentally abusive ex in her story. It just hurts, it flat out sucks.

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