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Thread: What Should I Do Next?

  1. #1
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    What Should I Do Next?

    So I've been seeing this girl for about 3 weeks, and she actually started talking to me and reaching out to me, I didn't know her that well. Well our first few dates went incredibly well and she brought up the idea of meeting my parents. So she did within the first couple weeks and it went incredibly well. So we've continued hanging and we kiss and hold hands and have recently started having sex.

    So I brought up the idea of becoming official because it seemed like that's what she wanted to, all the signs were there. But she said she doesn't want to see anyone else but she isn't ready to take that step yet because she doesn't want to rush into it and end up breaking up. Which is completely understandable since we have kinda moved pretty fast. I told her that's completely fine and we don't need to talk about it anymore until she's comfortable.

    I guess what I'm wanting advice on is, throughout most of my dating life I've been the one who cares less in the relationship, or who acts like they don't want the relationship. And in turn that made the girls like me more. As I've gotten older ive promised myself that it wasn't going to be like that from now on, that I was more mature than that now and don't want to play those games. But I'm worried now that I showed my hand that she's going to be less interested if that makes sense? Most of the time when we talk she reaches out to me and we're going to continue hanging. Just kinda wanted some opinions on how to play it moving forward . Thanks!

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I don't think it's a good idea to introduce her to your parents after only three weeks, but it's already done.

    You need to slow down. Don't put any pressure on her to make anything official. See if you're still compatible and not fighting 3 months from now and go from there.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BillJones222
    As I've gotten older ive promised myself that it wasn't going to be like that from now on, that I was more mature than that now and don't want to play those games. But I'm worried now that I showed my hand that she's going to be less interested if that makes sense? Most of the time when we talk she reaches out to me and we're going to continue hanging. Just kinda wanted some opinions on how to play it moving forward . Thanks!
    You say you don't want to play games, that you've matured, but what's in bold is the definition of unhealthy game playing. You might have gotten older, but you still have a long ways to go toward figuring what healthy dynamics in a relationship look like. You are still in manipulative mind games mode, aka old habits die hard.

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    I haven't been doing that with her. That's the point I'm making

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's going well and she seems into you. Just play it by ear one step at a time. You did the right thing, let her bring it up when the time is right. Don't worry about tipping your hand, it's not a poker game.
    Originally Posted by BillJones222
    we've continued hanging and we kiss and hold hands and have recently started having sex.

    I told her that's completely fine and we don't need to talk about it anymore until she's comfortable.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    If she shows a lot of interest in you does that make you like her less?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She's giving you mixed signals. Wants to meet your parents but doesn't want an exclusive relationship? I think you should weigh the pros and cons with her in a few weeks and see whether you're still as into her. See if the chemistry is still there or if she is what you think she is.

    You're right not to play mind games and you shouldn't put up with it either.

    Give it another three weeks and see where this goes. If she's still playing hide and seek about what she wants, cut her loose.

  9. #8
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    Why did you introduce a girl to your parents if not in a relationship?

    That doesnít make sense to me.

    When she asked to be introduced to your parents, did you ask her how you should introduce her? As your gf? A girl you met 3 weeks ago? Someone who will have sex with you if you do? What?!!!

    To the contrary I donít believe she has shown signs of wanting a relationship at all. Instead she has played games with you.
    She asked to meet your parents but never showed intention of you meeting hers?

    And all this in 21 days?

    She is a flake at best.
    Apologise to your parents for introducing her to them.
    All good!

  10. #9
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    I would be wary of anyone who wants to meet your parents within days of meeting you - and then turns around and says it's too soon to make things official.

    I agree it's too soon to make it official, to be clear, but it was also way too early to meet your parents. She's talking out both sides of her mouth, which should be enough for you to pump the brakes and proceed with some caution here.

    That inconsistency is concerning.


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