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Thread: How Do I Know If He's Trying To Use Me For Sex Or Wants A Relationship?

  1. #11
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    Since this happened the second time you met him why did you meet him a third and fourth time?

    “ He groped my butt and I told him to not touch me there so he said ok. Later, he groped my boob and I shove his hand away, but eventually he tries to reach into my bra to pinch my boob”
    Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
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    What is your age? Look I think even the fact that you want to wait for marriage to have sex and this guy very clearly DOESN'T, means he is completely wrong for you. You have been very clear after the second date that you want to take it slow and get to know each other. He began touching you sexually on the second date already. And you were giving him clear signs that you're not into it, as well as you actually told him. He definitely just wants sex and he's quite aggressive about it. "I just got carried away". He's not an animal trying to hump! He should be able to control himself!

  3. #13
    Thank you for your concern <3 Ahhh that's true. I'll stop agreeing to see him and end things.

  4. #14
    Originally Posted by Acolyte2020
    I honestly think this guy is not for you. If he wanted a relationship he'd be clearer on that. If it's too soon and you still need to date and get to know each other then he wouldn't be so aggressive physically. I'm genuinely worried that if you were to hang out with him again that he would continue to try and push his limits. He's already overstepped your boundaries. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything you're not comfortable. I know it's hard and conflicting in the moment but you have to understand that a man that truly respects you won't put you in this position because he will listen the first time you move his hand away or tell him you don't like something he will not keep trying. I also think he is pulling away and trying not to hurt you but he's not calling or available because he doesn't seem to be interested now that he was so persistent on being physical but knows how you feel.

    I think you shouldn't settle for anyone who doesn't respect you physically/emotionally. I think you'd be better off with someone else. Find someone that's willing to take the time to really get to know you first! Take whatever time you need. Anything physical should be agreed on and natural on whatever time that works best for both of you and establish boundaries ahead of time. If a relationship is what you're looking for be clear with the next person about what you want. It's perfectly fine to date a while before determining the relationship status but don't let a guy take advantage and push you to be physical. That's a huge red flag! Be careful!!!

    Thanks for your concern <33 This helps a lot! Eeekk yeah I'll stop agreeing to seeing him and end things. Thanks for all the advice!

  5.  

  6. #15
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    It sounds like he's looking to have sex, and as quickly as possible.



    If you're crying on the 4th date, it's time to call it a day. That's a very bad sign.

    Learn the difference between romance and someone seeking sex. Romance, wants to hear all about you, does thoughtful things for you, such as leaving sweet messages. Makes you feel like he's interested in you. Wants to hold hands, open car doors for you, spend time with you (not being physical) but just being with you, whether that's watching a movie. going for a walk, just being in your presence.

    Someone seeking sex, doesn't ask much about you, gives you quick answers, like they're annoyed and don't want a long, in depth conversation about anything. Doesn[t make you feel special, rushes physical things like kissing, touching. Is more interested in physical than anything else. Does't take the time to make any kind of special efforts for you.

    The guy you're talking about is the second kind of guy. He wants sex, not a romance.
    Trueee :/ I think I just kept disregarding the red flags and giving him the benefit of the doubt which I've reached my limit. Thanks for your advice!

  7. #16
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Please do not do text speak on this site.

    This guy sounds like he is only looking for sex. I think you should move on.

    How old are you?
    Sorry about that. Thanks for letting me know. Yeah I'm going to end things with him. I'm 18 and he's 20.

  8. #17
    Originally Posted by Cannelle
    Not only is he looking only for sex but he is
    assaulting you. He is touching you everywhere and tries again after you pushes him.away and even cried twice!

    Why would you want to be with someone so disrespectful? You should never accept unconfortable situations because you " didn't know what to do". Don't be so eager to be someone girlfriend when he hasn't even proven to you that he is valuable.

    Dating is , as you say , to get to know someone . And you should take all the time You need before You decide if YOU would like him as a boyfriend. Then, if he feels the same, it's a match.

    Never be afraid to assert yourself.

    You deserve to be respected and care for.

    This guy will not change into a caring gentleman.

    IF you want a romantic, great guy, you'll have to get rid of this frog first.
    Thank you <3 This really helps a bunch! I'm going to stop seeing him and possibly communicate these things to him so that hopefully this doesn't happen to another girl in the future.

  9. #18
    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Since this happened the second time you met him why did you meet him a third and fourth time?

    “ He groped my butt and I told him to not touch me there so he said ok. Later, he groped my boob and I shove his hand away, but eventually he tries to reach into my bra to pinch my boob”
    I decided to meet him the 3rd time to see if he'd respect my boundaries and he did. He didn't do anything to me so I thought the 4th time would be okay.

  10. #19
    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    What is your age? Look I think even the fact that you want to wait for marriage to have sex and this guy very clearly DOESN'T, means he is completely wrong for you. You have been very clear after the second date that you want to take it slow and get to know each other. He began touching you sexually on the second date already. And you were giving him clear signs that you're not into it, as well as you actually told him. He definitely just wants sex and he's quite aggressive about it. "I just got carried away". He's not an animal trying to hump! He should be able to control himself!
    I'm 18. He's 20. Ahh that's true! He can control himself, but probably doesn't want to and tries to see how far he can take it which is not an excuse.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    When a guy shows you who he is, believe him the first time. That's really the lesson here to take forward. So many guys out there, you really have no reason to deal with Mr. Tentacle Hands.

    The other one is when his talk and his actions don't match, just run for the hills. Look for guys whose words and actions match. Don't ever try to make excuses or justify or rationalize bad behavior because if you do that, you'll end up in really bad relationships you regret.

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