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Thread: Is it weird that I did this?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    How big of an impact has this moment had on your life? Getting Ready for a First Date

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    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    How would you even evaluate what is "ordinary" especially in the teenage years?
    I don't know what's appropriate to say. I'm autistic/have "social dyslexia." Growing up, my mom would always say, "Think before you say something, I don't want people to think you're weird!" (Again, this was way before we knew I was autistic.) But telling me to "think before you say something" is like telling someone without calling ID, "Only answer the phone if it's for you."



    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    How big of an impact has this moment had on your life?
    None. At least not until now, when I was wondering if what I did was a truly inappropriate/strange thing to do. (This website saved my butt a few years ago when I had an idea to contact my ex's friend about his living situation.)

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    Originally Posted by TulipWriter
    I don't know what's appropriate to say. I'm autistic/have "social dyslexia." Growing up, my mom would always say, "Think before you say something, I don't want people to think you're weird!" (Again, this was way before we knew I was autistic.) But telling me to "think before you say something" is like telling someone without calling ID, "Only answer the phone if it's for you."




    None. At least not until now, when I was wondering if what I did was a truly inappropriate/strange thing to do. (This website saved my butt a few years ago when I had an idea to contact my ex's friend about his living situation.)
    I just was commenting that you phrase it as "is this ordinary" - of course it's not appropriate to answer a phone while you're having sex unless it's a life or death situation. Just like it's not appropriate to answer it while you're sharing a meal with a friend unless you let her know in advance you might need to take a call. That's not about autism etc - because you picked up a phone - you acted out a fantasy. It wasn't about whether you were unsure of what was appropriate to say. You did know what you were doing - the phone rang, you'd fantasized about this and chose to live out your fantasy. Many people act inappropriately because of a self-absorbed reason - not just people on the spectrum.

  4. #14
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I just was commenting that you phrase it as "is this ordinary" - of course it's not appropriate to answer a phone while you're having sex unless it's a life or death situation. Just like it's not appropriate to answer it while you're sharing a meal with a friend unless you let her know in advance you might need to take a call. That's not about autism etc - because you picked up a phone - you acted out a fantasy. It wasn't about whether you were unsure of what was appropriate to say. You did know what you were doing - the phone rang, you'd fantasized about this and chose to live out your fantasy. Many people act inappropriately because of a self-absorbed reason - not just people on the spectrum.
    Ah ok. Not only did I live out a fantasy, but I also knew that if I didn't answer it right then and there, my mother would get mega-worried and suspicious about why no one was answering the house and cell phones. (So what I should've done back then: let the cell phone ring, and then call back my mom when Christian and I were done having sex? And if she got all worried and panicked, that wouldn't be my problem, but hers?)

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by TulipWriter
    Ah ok. Not only did I live out a fantasy, but I also knew that if I didn't answer it right then and there, my mother would get mega-worried and suspicious about why no one was answering the house and cell phones. (So what I should've done back then: let the cell phone ring, and then call back my mom when Christian and I were done having sex? And if she got all worried and panicked, that wouldn't be my problem, but hers?)
    Yes. Unless you promised to call her at a specific time or promised to answer the phone at a specific time you should have called her back later. The worry would be her own issue as you hadn't promised to answer the phone.

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