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Thread: Regret letting a great person go.

  1. #31
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Originally Posted by esteluna
    Thank you for your cautionary tales. I believe I have waited this long, that I won't settle now. Your story is proof that it can be done, and if you found your great husband following your own advice, I will do so as well! You're right, I believe these great men are rarely at the bar or on quick dating apps. They are doing the work I would admire a man to be doing. Hard to get out and find these men and these situations these days with the quarantine, but I will keep my eyes and heart open. Thanks again!
    I think you need to be proactive about finding the right person as well as proactive about becoming the right person. Here are the ways people I know in their 30s have met their spouses (women meeting men): bar, salsa dance instructor, online dating sites, work, volunteer work, laundry room of apartment building on a rainy valentine's day night about 15 years ago, through friends, through backstage theater work (volunteer), singles events, craigslist ad for cycling partner.

    Many men are people of integrity who work very hard and might be at a bar grabbing drinks with friends. Other men never go out and use work as an excuse. Men are individuals. I personally would not frequent bars unless there's a specific event going on. I met my husband originally at work. I found serious relationships in my 30s by being set up with friends, at a singles retreat, through a friend (his brother), online dating sites. I met many good men through my work, friends, volunteer work, singles events, dances, and my apartment building. I was extremely proactive and did not rely on "love will find you" because I wanted marriage and the opportunity to have a baby. Passivity had no place in that for me. Neither did desperation or settling.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    He could have very well been the right guy at the wrong time. Timing can be important. He was ready and indicated that while you were playing the field. Missed opportunists can haunt all of us.

    You can use all the things you loved about him as a gauge for any new guy that comes along. I don't mean compare each guy to him but use it to help you weed out the men that aren't for you.

    With all this new knowledge and the willingness not to let a good guy slip through your fingers again I am sure you will meet a solid guy that is looking for someone just like you.


  3. #33
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.

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