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Thread: What is it with people these days?

  1. #1
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    What is it with people these days?

    So, I've been trying to make some new friends, and it's pretty difficult with covid. I've noticed that people tend to either not put in effort to make friends, or just want sex. I'm not old, I'm 25, but i honestly feel like people these days have their priorities all skewed. It's all about sex and partying, money and physical appearances. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the above things, but to revolve your life around them?

    I focus on my personal growth, my career, my family and friends. I don't drink anymore because it is a depressant and I honestly don't need any more depress in my life. I don't do drugs, but don't judge anyone who has the occasional smoke of the happy herb. Who am I to judge people for their personal preferences?
    It just concerns me how many people are infatuated with a life style that not only affects them negatively, but affects people around them.

    What are your thoughts ENA? Do you have any issues with finding friends? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Bronze Member FairyGodmother's Avatar
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    So, the first thing is that you say this:

    Originally Posted by AceAlice
    Who am I to judge people for their personal preferences?
    But also this:

    Originally Posted by AceAlice
    I've noticed that people tend to either not put in effort to make friends, or just want sex. [...] People these days have their priorities all skewed. It's all about sex and partying, money and physical appearances. [...] It just concerns me how many people are infatuated with a life style that not only affects them negatively, but affects people around them.
    So, whether you meant to or not, you are judging. Perhaps on a conscious level you logically know it's not right to judge people, but it seems like your unconscious is not quite there yet. Maybe try to work on your acceptance of other people's lifestyles. You're not obligated to be around them, and neither is anyone else.

    Secondly, it's a massive generalization to say that all people just want sex, parties, and money. That may be true of the people that you are in contact with, but it's certainly not true of the entire world. Maybe look at the way in which you met these people and decide to meet people in other environments where they might be more likely to have personalities similar to yours. Obviously, this is challenging right now because of COVID but you could try get involved in groups like book clubs, arts/crafts/DIY clubs, cooking clubs, film clubs, gardening clubs, table tennis clubs, pottery clubs etc. There are countless groups, you just need to tailor your involvement according to your interests. If you can't be involved in person right now, then try finding online communities i.e. subreddits, facebook groups, online meet-ups, forums.

    Lastly, I would say yes it can be hard to make friends. But it's not impossible, and hopefully by doing the above the process will be easier and more enjoyable for you. Don't give up, your friends are out there!
    Last edited by FairyGodmother; 06-30-2020 at 07:33 AM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    What you just described, is unfortunately a good description of a larger portion of today's society.

    But not everyone is like that. You do have to search harder to find people who are genuine and are not caught up in money, partying or sex.

    It can be frustrating. But don't lower your standards due to frustration or loneliness. Whether that's in terms of dating or friendships.

    Try to join groups or sites that are centered around your interest or hobbies. It will help connect with you people that you can at least relate to some degree with.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Try a hobby you can be passionate about, or volunteering at a place you would enjoy time at. I once volunteered at our local zoo for a year. Other types of volunteer work are docents at museums, constructing Habitat for Humanity homes, environmental clean ups. You can join book discussion groups, writer's groups, Meetup.com groups who meet for hiking, kayaking, bowling, etc. In any of those activities, people likely don't drink, and they are less likely to have an intensive focus on makeup and high fashion.

    Sometimes it takes years to establish friendships with regular contact because of the shared activity. Sometimes you just click with someone and your friendship takes off a lot quicker. Even if someone finds you pleasant, they might not have room in their life for another friend, as many people have full lives of having a partner, family, a handful of close friends, and a career to attend to. Take signals from them that they are open for accepting a get together if you ask, just as people look for those signals before asking someone out on a date.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sounds like the reality TV and social media addicted crowd. Don't run with these types. There's plenty of socially conscious people in the age groups you mention.

    Join groups, clubs, organizations, etc that resonate with your ethos. For example volunteer. You may find less me, me, me, me designer clothes types there than in clubs or on tinder

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    Thank you all for your advice. I completely agree that I need to work on not judging people. It's their lives and they are allowed to live it as they wish without judgement. I feel that where I live, many, not all, but many are influenced by others and it becomes almost wrong to not follow the trend. It's not something I can change, and I realise that. I guess I just want to know if I'm not alone in seeing the impact that social media and these trends are having on the way people communicate and live their lives.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    As Wiseman remarked:

    "Sounds like the reality TV and social media addicted crowd."

    And yes, there is a large swathe of people whose lives seem to revolve about this brain-numbing lifestyle. And that isn't judgment - it's a plain fact.

    However, as Sherry said, not everyone is like that.

    As Andrina said:

    " You can join book discussion groups, writer's groups, Meetup.com groups who meet for hiking, kayaking, bowling, etc. In any of those activities, people likely don't drink, and they are less likely to have an intensive focus on makeup and high fashion."


  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Don't be too hard on yourself for judging people...how else can we gauge who are decent people and who are the ones you need to steer clear of?

    And that isn't judgment - it's a plain fact.
    Yes. And you know what? There is nothing wrong with being aware and being careful who you let into your life. In fact, it's something you should absolutely pay attention to and be cautious of.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AceAlice
    So, I've been trying to make some new friends, and it's pretty difficult with covid. I've noticed that people tend to either not put in effort to make friends, or just want sex. I'm not old, I'm 25, but i honestly feel like people these days have their priorities all skewed. It's all about sex and partying, money and physical appearances. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the above things, but to revolve your life around them?

    I focus on my personal growth, my career, my family and friends. I don't drink anymore because it is a depressant and I honestly don't need any more depress in my life. I don't do drugs, but don't judge anyone who has the occasional smoke of the happy herb. Who am I to judge people for their personal preferences?
    It just concerns me how many people are infatuated with a life style that not only affects them negatively, but affects people around them.

    What are your thoughts ENA? Do you have any issues with finding friends?
    I tend to agree with you... And I can be judgmental...

    INot that I have to try to change people or that I even have to tell them. I'm entitled to make decisions on how I spend my time and with whom.

    In general, I don't fit in. I did for a long time. Partying, drama loving, gossiping, sacrificing myself to please others... it was exhausting.

    And not how I wanted to be.... so somewhere in between following the crowd and wanting to be true to yourself, you gotta make tough choices. sometimes going it alone.

    Covid adds a new layer... just when being single was depressing enough on its own for me...

    But its something we have to endure and save ourselves for better days. They will come. This will end.

    better people will come into your life. I feel like at times, we're being tested. So stay true to you. keep that space open for the people you want. but for now, maybe you'll just have to go it alone a little longer or maybe someone great is just around the corner!

    That's the beauty of life, just when you think you know, something changes. look for and expect a miracle. success is where opportunity meets preparedness. our time is coming!

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Consider making aquaintences rather than friends. These are people who you come across in life, have some things in common with but don't have to embrace everything about them.

    These are the people you may meet in the course of your day or in your pursuits.

    However the scrutiny you describe sounds more like dating app people you want to turn into friends possibly lover more so than just making friends per se

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