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Thread: Made plans with my ex-best friend and I am afraid he will cancel.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Here's how I'd think about it.

    You say you're interested in meeting new people, falling in love. Great. Now, do you think all this engagement with this guy from your past will help you on that path? Do you think being someone eager for a former FWB to "see" you in a "better place" is beneficial for future connections, or something with a high risk of fogging the lens, rendering you a woman that a good guy would struggle to take seriously?

    Because your best case scenario here? It's you one day explaining to a new guy that it was super important to you to reestablish a relationship with a guy you got tangled up with: sexually, emotionally. What will that guy "see" in that moment? And how much does this moment get you further from even meeting that guy?

    Give those questions some thought, find some answers, and let them guide you now. Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #12
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    If you really want to meet someone who you could date, being close to this guy again is going to stand in your way. He's still taking up too much rent in your heart and mind.

    And understand that when he meets a woman he wants to date, he will not prioritize his friendship with you. Sooner or later, you two are going to drift apart. You two don't have the solid, platonic foundation that lends itself to a true, long-lasting friendship.

    If you're this anxious over him canceling, and showing him you've changed, you're not ready to meet him yet.

  3. #13

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    He didn't cancel. We went for a walk by the beach and had some ice cream. It was ok. A little bit awkward, we were both afraid the other would bring up our issues but that didn't happen. We chatted for 2 hours and updated each other about what is going on in our lives. Made plans for next month to catch up again. That happened yesterday and today he sent me a pic of his dog he just adopted. I really think we can fix this..

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, that's good. Lay back and let him initiate things.
    Originally Posted by Snapfm
    We chatted for 2 hours and updated each other about what is going on in our lives. Made plans for next month to catch up again. That happened yesterday and today he sent me a pic of his dog he just adopted. I really think we can fix this..

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    By "fix this" do you mean in a romantic sense? Or being "friends"?

  7. #16

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    I mean fix our friendship. We used to spent so much time together, we shared a lot of things and he was a good friend. The romantic sense was something we both handled poorly and I don't want that back. I just want to communicate, remain friends and have him in my life. I was so anxious because I thought we were going to discuss about everything that happened between us and bring up a lot of ugly things. But I am glad that didn't happen.

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