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Thread: Think I'm Bi, or Bi-Curious.. Is There a Difference?

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    Think I'm Bi, or Bi-Curious.. Is There a Difference?

    Hey guys. I'm a 26 year old male from New Jersey. I've posted here a few times. I appreciate all your help to this point, thank you. I feel a lot better then I did where I started, I think. I believe I could be bi-curious, or possibly just bi or truly straight. I've been strictly straight & had no interest in men or men's bodies for 26 years, so keep that in mind. Lately, I find myself appreciating the look of a man's body more and more, noticing when there are attractive men, and looking at men naked isn't a problem for me, and I've had thoughts about the possibility of doing physical things with men often recently. At first I was completely against these thoughts & feared them, but now i'm accepting that I have these and perhaps might explore one them day. I changed my tinder preference to everyone to test the waters, but I'm wondering if my thoughts are more about just admiring the way men look, and not truly wanting to be physical the way I would with a woman. I've also done research and find that there's not a whole lot of Bisexual men out there, at least in the places I've looked, it seems like for men it's either one or the other.. I see bisexuality a lot more common in women. I've also seen that women might not be as interested in dating bisexual men. However, I strongly prefer women, and would much prefer to be physical with women & wouldn't hesitate at all if a woman wanted to get physical. but in the end I'm not sure if I'd actually pull the trigger with a man and truly try it out. What do you guys think? Is there a difference between bisexual, bi curious, and is bisexual a real thing for men? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I think it's all fluid, personally.

    A good friend of mine is a woman married to a woman. They both identify, more or less, as straight. But they met, connected, felt the zing, and are now wife and wife.

    My sense, from this and other posts, is that you're asking a lot of questions right now, spinning around, in mind and body, pretty fast. All good, all that. Enjoy the ride, and trust that it's going to provide more answers than us internet people or some research can.

    Feel it out. No self-judgement. Maybe just identify, right now, as "curious"? Beautiful thing, that.

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    You are describing some contradictory thoughts here and in your last post, OP.

    Again, all these thoughts while we are in isolation are just that, obsession and keeping yourself trapped in your own head. Many people get curious, perhaps confused, and they figure it out in the real world. Really no need to label yourself one way or the other before you have experienced it. Keep exploring your thoughts and why they are so overwhelming to you with your therapist.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you asked your therapist about this? Is any form of man-2-man sex taboo in your culture? Would you parents disapprove of this as much as they disapprove of you dating anyone?

    Mostly you are asking about semantics. My advice about this remains the same: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by JCDallas
    Is there a difference between bisexual, bi curious, and is bisexual a real thing for men?

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    My therapist actually suggested that I could be bi. Iím not 100% sold or sure on that idea but I can definitely admit Iím at least bi curious, if thatís a real thing.. She mentioned everyone around me that I care about the most is very accepting of myself either way (including my parents) whatís it gonna take for me to accept myself either way? That I donít know. Do I see male to male sex in my future? Most likely not, though itís not An impossibility or a fear like it once was. At the end of the day, I want to be dating someone who truly likes me for who I am and treats me with respect, which is earned, and while Iíd prefer a woman, definitely, I guess Iím okay with it if itís a man, too.. Iím not sure what that makes me, though.
    Last edited by JCDallas; 04-25-2020 at 09:03 AM.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You need to get to a doctor for a complete evaluation and a referral to another therapist for a second opinion.
    Originally Posted by JCDallas
    My therapist actually suggested that I could be bi.

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    Originally Posted by JCDallas
    At the end of the day, I want to be dating someone who truly likes me for who I am and treats me with respect, which is earned, and while Iíd prefer a woman, definitely, I guess Iím okay with it if itís a man, too.. Iím not sure what that makes me, though.
    Here you go, problem solved. You and people close to you will accept you either way, so why would it matter? Being straight, bi, or bi curious (?) doesn't define you as a person. You are who you are and applying a new label to yourself won't make you a whole new person.

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    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JCDallas
    At the end of the day, I want to be dating someone who truly likes me for who I am
    Do you feel that you can only like yourself, for who you are, whoever you are, if you're dating someone? That seems to be a theme here, in these posts, and it's something worth thinking about.

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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Do you feel that you can only like yourself, for who you are, whoever you are, if you're dating someone? That seems to be a theme here, in these posts, and it's something worth thinking about.
    To be honest, I don't know. Even at times when I was dating females in the past, I always had these thoughts in the back of my head that I didn't understand, but I feel like I'm starting to now, so I was never 100% happy with everything. Now that I'm starting to get some clarity on this, I feel like I can start to be happy with myself, at least I hope so..

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    My apologies for the double post, but has anyone heard of the term hetero romantic bisexual? It's someone who will only date, and get romantic with people of the opposite sex, which sounds a lot like me, but are sexually attracted to both.. I feel like I might fall into this almost perfectly.. even though I haven't actually tried anything sexual with a man yet. Or I could be hetero-romantic bi-curious.. Meaning I'd only date & marry a women, but I'm curious about the possibility of being bi, only sexually though and not romantically..
    Last edited by JCDallas; 04-25-2020 at 07:24 PM.

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