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Thread: Am I been too controlling?

  1. #1

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    Am I been too controlling?

    My boyfriend and I , have been together for almost 2 years . Hereís the issue well first of Iím not sure if Iím over reacting and been too controlling . Last Friday he told me to go over to his house and we were supposed to hang out . He had just got done working on his friends truck and we were supposed to drop off his friend somewhere . Well long story short , more of his friends started coming to my boyfriendís place and he started drinking with them . He expected me to wait all night for him in his room while he was outside the house drinking and smoking with them . He works out of town a lot and he doesnít get to see his friends nor me that much. So I understand he wants to hangout with them too . I just donít like how he has done this many times. He will always put his friends/family needs first and then put me last . I have pointed out to him how it bothers me that he doesnít prioritize our relationship and spending quality time with me . He promises me everytime crying saying heís gonna change but always goes back to the same old him . I do love him but I just donít know what to do .

  2. #2
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    So you had to wait in his room? You couldnít join him and his friends? Thatís not only rude but downright disrespectful! If I were you I wouldnít put up with that anymore! I say heís never going to change and donít think you can change him. I say dump the guy and find someone who will be respectful.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that. Next time get up and leave. Never hang around like that. Go home, out with friends, etc. He takes you for granted because you tolerate it. Stop trying to change him. Instead, change your approach. Realize that you are over investing and he does the absolute minimum. Expect better for yourself. Consider ending it. People treat their pets better than this.

  4. #4
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    Why did you have to wait in his room rather than joining them?

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  6. #5
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    Your bf does not prioritize or respect you. Why have you continued to allow this after the first time? You should have dumped this clown, long ago. He treats you like garbage.

  7. #6
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    Did you choose to wait in his room?
    You could have joined him and his friends which Iím sure after two years you must know them pretty well by now?
    Or you could have gone home?
    Or gone to meet your friends?

    I think you are playing the martyr a bit here?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    lmao just go out and have a drink with them. Who sits in a room sulking because their partner has friends over?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    He will always put his friends/family needs first and then put me last . I have pointed out to him how it bothers me that he doesnít prioritize our relationship and spending quality time with me . He promises me everytime crying saying heís gonna change but always goes back to the same old him . I do love him but I just donít know what to do.

    You communicated what would make you happy. He hasn't changed in 2 years. He doesn't care. The point of dating is to see who is right for you and if they are wrong for you, you cut them loose so you can be free to continue your search. Love is never enough on its own. Whether it be with friendship or romance, if a person doesn't put in equal effort, you stop pouring your emotional energy into them and move your attention to someone else more deserving.

  10. #9
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    What do you mean by " he expects you to wait in his room"???
    Does it mean he doesn't want you to sit with him and his friends? He wants to be alone with them and you are not welcome in the group?
    Or you chose to wait for "your turn" in the room because you wanted alone time with him?
    Please give us more precision so we can provide helpful answers.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Plan dates rather than vague hangouts. If he's not available because he is spending time with friends, do something else. "he told you"? You need to make up your own mind about things not act like this is obedience school and he says, "Come", 'Sit", "Stay', etc. Get up and leave if he dissolves plans. Then go home and text him that it's over.
    Originally Posted by LopezYP
    Last Friday he told me to go over to his house

    He expected me to wait all night for him in his room while he was outside the house drinking and smoking with them .

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