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Thread: Worried about a friend

  1. #11
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    Well if she is 50+ years old then unfortunately she's a grown adult who is making her own decisions. The guy sounds like a total nut and he's also blackmailing her. Why would he send details of their sex life to all their friends!! What a psycho! You could advise your friend to warn him that if he continues to harass her, she will show his messages to police. After that she needs to completely block him on everything. If she continues talking to him then she is actually a willing participant in all of this. She is making these dumb decisions and you can't really stop her because it's her life. You can give advice but after that it may be best to stop getting involved. The guy sounds really weird and it may be best to keep your distance from him.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why would she meet someone who is threatening her?

  3. #13
    Bronze Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    Is this the same friend you've been posting about since 2018? If so, maybe it's time to step out of the picture a little as it seems this "friend" stresses you out all the time and there's just too much drama.
    Not sure which friend you're referring to (I have many friends and I've posted about 2 or 3 of them) but, no, I've never posted about this one before.

  4. #14
    Bronze Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why would she meet someone who is threatening her?
    She's had a crush on him for ages (even when they had stopped talking she was full of excuses for him), so, I think that she's just happy he took the time to write that email, she feels like it's a proof he cares and I'm afraid she's going to get involved with him again. It seems strange to me, too, as she is a very strong person, she has overcome so many things in her life (dysfunctional family, worst father you could imagine, a brother with permanent health issues) and she's done so well in life (started her business from scratch) but when it comes to this guy it's like she's a different person.

    I know you're all right that I shouldn't get any more involved and I don't plan to, I've already told her what I think and that I'm here for her whatever she decides to do. But I can't help worrying.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like a mess. If she dates men who live with their GFs, seems like she has bad judgement in her personal life.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    My friend broke up with her bf 3 years ago and she's been living alone since then. It's the guy who, although he broke up with his gf 2 years ago, he still lives with her.
    His situation has a lot more potential to get messy than hers then. It makes sense if he's gone berserk and your friend appears so flippant. She too may have said something to infuriate him and instigate that type of behaviour. I doubt your friend is going to tell you the whole story - just the juicy bits. I think she's seeking attention in the wrong ways and it's coming back to bite her in the behind.

    If she continues to throw out information like this and behave carelessly or without caring for her own wellbeing, don't become a part of her story. Like I said, give her a wide berth and even if you do offer a listening ear, I wouldn't ruminate too long on what she says. Let her be her but don't let her affect you.

  8. #17
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    Not sure which friend you're referring to (I have many friends and I've posted about 2 or 3 of them) but, no, I've never posted about this one before.
    Ah, okay. Thanks. I asked because all the other "friend posts" have a similar theme so I wondered if it was all about the same friend. But if you seem to be having so many different friends who all have this much drama/issues, maybe better to start choosing friends more wisely.

  9. #18
    Bronze Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    A short update: apparently, they met and talked and she's still finding excuses for him - he's insecure, he was just looking for a way to talk to her, he would never send the email to her friends, he's jealous, he doesn't think he's good enough for her, he missed her so much (even though he had been the one who had stopped talking to her) and they're now thinking of vacationing together.

    I just told her to be careful and changed the subject.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    A short update: apparently, they met and talked and she's still finding excuses for him - he's insecure, he was just looking for a way to talk to her, he would never send the email to her friends, he's jealous, he doesn't think he's good enough for her, he missed her so much (even though he had been the one who had stopped talking to her) and they're now thinking of vacationing together.

    I just told her to be careful and changed the subject.
    Good work.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Good call. She wants excitement, flattery etc from another woman's live-in bf. Being the other woman is good for that sort of thing. She may have mid-life crisis and certainly is not looking for anything serious, which is fine. Sounds like she likes drama.
    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    I just told her to be careful and changed the subject.

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