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Thread: how should I approach him?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Dec 2007
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    Unfortunately, she will simply post the same question without responding.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Mar 2019
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    4,064
    Both of you need to work on your communication. It does appear misleading when you join in on chats and then behave differently in private. He also appears manipulative and immature threatening to throw away things. This is spiteful behaviour.

    Lower your spite for each other. All that vitriol and spite needs to stop. Contempt, as they say is one of the four horsemen of disaster and the end of a relationship. You can read about some of the ideas from Dr. John Gottman or the Gottman Institute.

    The trick for all that? Time. Learn to step away from an issue and stop crowding each other every hour of every day with chats on phones. Excess noise creates friction and doesn't allow two individuals to work things out peacefully. You're also doing a great disservice to each of you involving or making any one of you the butt of the jokes with friends and family. If you're not comfortable around this person start asking yourself why and give yourself a lot of time away from excessive phone and chatting.

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