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Thread: I'm still struggling...

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Were you ever physically dating, such as sex or kissing or going on dates? It seems more of a cyber concept than an agreed upon reality. She was dating locally and the understanding was that you were friends. You kept being abusive and she warned you to stop stalking, threatening and harassing her.

  2. #32
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    My response is to the facts you have provided.

    You have armchair diagnosed your ex and now me.
    Again thatís deflection.

    Yes you are looking for advice and yes I gave advice. You donít have to take my advice.

    Equally you donít have to berate me for it.

    You can simply ignore it .

    Your automatic response to her and me is to become abusive and threatening.

    Why is that?

  3. #33
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    There is a blocking function that doesn't prohibit posters from continuing to comment on your posts, but by enabling it you will no longer see those posts.

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by ChasingHope
    There is a blocking function that doesn't prohibit posters from continuing to comment on your posts, but by enabling it you will no longer see those posts.
    .
    Yes that is an option.

    For those who only want to read what they want to hear.
    But that would defeat the purpose of them posting seeking opinions and advice.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Jinstron, it appears that you're the one with a volatile personality, blowing up at people who try to point out the obvious to you.

    It was an eight week correspondence on the computer. My guess is that she got tired of your obsessive need for her and wanted to explore her options. Threatening to destroy her career was so over-the-top that she was forced to cease communication with you. Who wouldn't?

    My advice is to start seeing people that you can physically be with instead of trying to carry on a relationship over the internet.

  7. #36
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Yes that is an option.

    For those who only want to read what they want to hear.
    But that would defeat the purpose of them posting seeking opinions and advice.

    Nope - it would successfully eliminate postings that are judgemental and aggressive.

    But seriously - why not just move on? The poster stated he doesn't find your advice helpful. Why not try find someone who is open to it?

  8. #37
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Can you clarify the details of the relationship? You were a couple for two months? In those two months how much time did you spend together in person?

    I ask because often people in an online only relationship create stories that have no firm basis in reality.
    Reposting because I am curious to know the answers to my questions.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ChasingHope
    Nope - it would successfully eliminate postings that are judgemental and aggressive.

    But seriously - why not just move on? The poster stated he doesn't find your advice helpful. Why not try find someone who is open to it?
    Because sometimes people need to hear what they don't want to hear.

  10. #39
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    "It was as if a switch had turned off in her and in turn i became even more indignified through the shock. Kept texting and begging while she either ignores me or tells me she will block me..."
    This was your first mistake: you shouldn't have texted and especially not begged. IMO, she should have been more compassionate regarding the breakup. How she treated you (rolling her eyes, laughing - really???) is downright cruel. That's a big red flag right there.

    Rejection is very hard to take, especially when you care about someone. It leaves you angry, confused and hurt. I not a psychiatrist but she may, indeed, suffer from some sort of Cluster B personality. Whatever her issues are, you need to get her out of your head. She's not worth your time or energy. It's over; accept that, Jinstron. In fact, I think you dodged a bullet.

    I think your second mistake was that you placed her on a pedestal. Why? I have no idea. She apparently, plays with people's emotions and apparently doesn't give a hoot. Do you really want to be with a person like this? God only knows what else she may be capable of.

    You gave her your heart and she threw it away. Sad. But, I hope you learned a very valuable lesson from all this: never threaten anyone. It can have many negative consequences. Remember that!

    Focus on healing, and once you've healed, get out there (after COVID, of course) and find yourself a girl who will respect and love you. Good luck!

    - perhaps you might consider some anger management courses. Just saying...

  11. #40
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    I think its judgemental when u take a partial info and form a whole narrative around it on your whim esp when that narrative is negative, which says more about where the narrators mindset is than the one being judged.

    I explicitedly said i was sorry and shameful of what i did and if some members here cant accept that confession with some generosity on their part, then i doubt this is a place where i can find constructive criticism.

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