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Thread: Ex messaging after I broke up with him

  1. #21
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Roadtoheal
    The other thing is what if he isnít actually narcissistic.. and I have convinced myself that he is
    Well, what if? Would that change the more relevant ďdiagnosisĒ here, which is that being with him made you very unhappy? The most acute work-up of his psychology, by the most seasoned of professionals, wouldnít change that, right?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    He doesn't need for you to diagnose him with a personality disorder for him to be wrong for you, or for him to be a toxic influence in your life.

    You're flip flopping between realizing how bad he is for you and trying to convince yourself he's really a great guy who you should really give another chance to.

    And no, not answering is not a sign of strength. You haven't replied "yet" but you're making sure you can at a later date.

    BTW, his behavior is classic selfish d-bag. He doesn't respect your wishes.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Roadtoheal
    In my defence, I deleted him off all forms of social media. I genuinely thought that because I have a private FB account if I deleted him that he wouldnít be able to message me. I didnít realise that wasnít the case.

    I havenít replied to him. I think the fact that he can see Iíve read his message and by not replying will not make me appear weak? It should send the message loud and clear that I donít want anything to do with him by not replying and leaving it on ďreadĒ.

    The other thing is what if he isnít actually narcissistic.. and I have convinced myself that he is
    Oh come on.....

    You read the message means you still care about what he says.
    You read the message means you might respond eventually.
    You read the message means he is getting to fck with your head right now as we speak.
    You read the message means he is getting under your skin
    You read the message means he is getting into your head
    You read the message means he is in your head and you can't stop yourself from thinking about him
    You read the message means you are still willing to leave the door open for him to manipulate you some more.

    .....You refuse to block him means that if he tries hard enough, he will get you back into toxic round two eventually.....because....well....why OP? What is wrong with you?

  4. #24
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    Just because I read it though it doesnít mean that I have left the door open.

    He will see that Iíve read his message and havenít replied, and will not reply.. therefore he will get the point that I am not giving him another chance hence my silence.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    This is about using messages on Facebook on a computer. For help with the Messenger app, visit the Messenger Help Center.
    To block messages from someone on Facebook:
    New Facebook
    Click at the top right of the page.
    Open the conversation with the person you'd like to block.
    Click in the top left of the chat box.
    Click Block a member > Block.

    Classic Facebook
    Click at the top right of the page.
    Open the conversation with the person you'd like to block.
    Click in the top right of the chat box.
    Click Block > Block Messages and Calls.
    Learn more about what happens when you block messages from someone and how to unblock messages from someone.
    Note: Blocking messages from someone is different from blocking them on Facebook. If you block messages from someone, but you don't block them on Facebook, you'll still be able to see their Facebook profile. Depending on their privacy settings, you may also be able to see things like their status updates, comments, likes and tags on Facebook.

  7. #26
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    Okay.. Im going to buck the system a little bit but not too much. This is what think.
    DO NOT reply. I can tell you why.. If you reply, its a victory for him and you will only encourage more. Even if you say "Stop" its a reply which means he wins. If he is narcissistic, manipulating if you completely block him, he will find ways to get a hold of you. So what you do is you have a controlled avenue for him to send messages to. I mean you block him on everything but one. Block him on your phone and all other social media except for one and make this one avenue your least important one. Say Instagram or something. Because sometimes its nice to know where crazy is going to come from and if you keep one avenue open, then you know that he will only contact you there. If you completely block him then he can contact you from anywhere.

    As for the guy... He is not going to change or if he changes its going to take a long long time. So by the time that happens, you could of already found another guy who will make you happier. So let this guy go. What you are missing is the idea of him being the perfect BF but as you see, he is not. So just let him go, don't reply and make room in your heart and life for someone better.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    As long as "what will he think of me" is your foremost motivation, dictating your actions, you will remain in the prison he started and you are still in. You could get help to break this continued worship of him. Do some research on domestic violence and Google Stockholm Syndrome.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I wouldn't be very quick to overthink someone who's after me for a utility bill.

  10. #29
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    The moment you switch your thoughts and actions to you, his messages and contacts will not matter or bother much and to get your thoughts in line so you can lead a peaceful life, you need to block him for some days may be months may be years. It does not mean you are doing some crime or injustice to someone, it just means you love your well being, you care for yourself, you dont want to get hurt any more. You want to move on from all this for now.

    Some people are just that they come and go in our lives they teach you few important lessons and its upto us to learn from those experiences and move ahead in lives.

    Imagine you meeting some nice, loving person in near future and he sees you all bothered with this ex of yours. To meet the right person in the right mindset you need to let go of your past.
    Take the right decision at the right time, time never waits for us, situations keep repeating if we dont learn the lessons.

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