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Thread: Blocked out of nowhere

  1. #1

    Blocked out of nowhere

    Long story short- I dated a guy three years ago& he broke my heart - hed majorly pursued me but then he left me while he was stressed about financial problems. Four months later he tried to get me back &spent 2years trying.

    This March after no contact for eleven months I texted him. He was incredibly enthusiastic and we arranged to meet on the Saturday. On the Friday lockdown started. We have been texting three months - a little on/off as he does tend to vanish for a few days every so often. I was stressed from work , was worried that was seeping into our conversation so said I would take a few weeks no contact to get my head straight- the not knowing when we could meet was making it difficult.

    The next day (Thursday) he texted, I reiterated that it wasnt about him, but by then the social bubble scheme had been announced. We arranged to bubble and he would come on Sunday: his idea and he was mega enthusiastic. Saturday I message him, he replied with perfectly normal, friendly message. I replied. Literally 2mins later Id been blocked across platforms. Im so confused and hurt.
    I know he is immature/cowardly etc. I know this behaviour shows how unworthy of me. I dont need to hear more of this.

    He lost his sister in December and is still suffering. We have both been badly hurt in the past and were looking forward to being together as we are both just nice people (he is so kind and lovely when emotionally well).

    Although he tends to vanish he has never blocked me before. I just dont get why, when he has tried to get back with me for years &weve waited for three months he cuts all ties and drives me away forever the day before we would finally be together. After he was so enthusiastic. I know it is his problem not me, but Im so frustrated at how unfair it has been. If not for lockdown we would have met three months ago. I miss him deeply and Im so sad never to talk to him again- we have this bizarre connection and I love just the random chats we would have. Im trying to move on but hate that this is so final and without warning. It feels like something has been cut away from me.

  2. #2
    I didnt say a few weeks no contact I said press pause for a few weeks... next day I explained I meant was stepping back from texting so much

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    My guess is he hasn't been totally honest with you and he's been seeing someone else. His two worlds were about to collide and he's cut you off so she doesn't find out - or, he had never had any serious intention of sitting out lockdown with you and didn't have the stones to tell you.

    I'm sorry. I know it stings but it's better to let go of him. It wouldn't have been a good idea to quarantine together when you two were not actually dating. If you two couldn't manage to make this work over the past couple years, there's a reason. It's time to put him in your past for good.

  4. #4
    Thats not him, hes not seeing anyone.

    While he was trying to get me back I was seeing someone else which ended a bit over a year ago.

    We acknowledged me and (guy 1) wouldnt be each others forever. With what wed each been through we just needed a nice person to heal with.


  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Originally Posted by Julia5678
    With what wed each been through we just needed a nice person to heal with.
    You can see that's not working, though. Your feelings are hurt, which makes sense when someone randomly cuts you off, but this is your cue that the idea of healing together is not realistic or practical.

    And unless you're with him all the time, we never really know what someone else is doing, who they might be talking to, and so on. I suppose you never imagined he had it in him to block you everywhere either, no? It's time to accept that he is capable of things you don't want him to be capable of.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    He did the work for you by blocking. This should have been done by you three years ago. Now you are free.

  8. #7
    I didnt say it was working... and I was obviously talking about what we said we needed before the blocking.

    And I do know he is not seeing anyone else. I was surprised by the blocking but not the withdrawal from his own feelings or from the thought of confrontation.

    I have not said anything about trying to get with him since the blocking. In fact I quite clearly said I am trying to move on and that I wont be talking to him again

  9. #8
    I see this is one of those forums where nobody is capable of saying anything other than the boring knee jerk reactions to the non -poster behaviour.

    I said I dont want those knee jerk reaction comments.

    Ill just unsubscribe

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    If you're still reading...

    I know you are shocked and you thought something different was happening. Its hard to know what another person is thinking.

    But! I have seen or experienced myself, some times the only thing the person is capable of doing is just burning the bridge.

    The reason? Who really knows. It is strictly their own. They can't deal with being honest. There was a part of the story you dont know. or some combination of the two.

    Sounds like maybe you reached out, being lonely from the pandemic? Maybe looking back to a lost opportunity? Only you really know but its worth exploring.

    Sometimes when things end, in time we remember them differently. We think, hey that person was cool. Maybe it could be worth it to re-evaluate.... but agreeing to be in the bubble, after a long time apart, might not be for the best.

    Anyhoo... I wpuld just take this on the proverbial chin and never reach out or talk to this person again. they blocked. their choice. message received... on to bigger and better things.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Stop excusing his behavior. You should never have reconnected. He is not relationship material. Be done!.

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