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Thread: Broke up today

  1. #41
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    I just don't get how we can be in a 1.5-year relationship, obviously had built a lot and when I say "okay, I'm going to walk away" (not from HER mind you, but the SITUATION) 6 days pass, and she doesn't even so much as send a text! How can a person be so stone-cold? I've never experienced that before. It really makes me angry; obviously that's hurt. And it's not like it was a bluff or I didn't mean it, because I do, but damn I just don't want to deal with a relationship when I have to worry about her drafting letters to her ex. It's not crazy.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If you dump someone or throw in the towel like this, why would they text you?
    Originally Posted by Blackpebble
    when I say "okay, I'm going to walk away" 6 days pass, and she doesn't even so much as send a text!

  3. #43
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    It's not realistic to expect an ex to text you. You are broken up. Continuing to stay in contact makes no sense.

    Do you have family or friends you can reach out to? My family member and I just spent 2 hours on the phone. His marriage is ending and he reached out to me for support. I was happy to support him.

  4. #44
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    If you dump someone or throw in the towel like this, why would they text you?
    Because I wasn't wanting the relationship to end. I just wanted that aspect of the relationship to end. Plus, it feels odd that she just let me walk knowing I couldn't handle that; her making no concessions for the relationship makes it seem like what we had wasn't, and isn't worth fighting and being vulnerable for. Shouldn't that have been a wake-up call for her? But instead it's just like "okay. so long".

    What was I supposed to do? keep sacrificing my dignity while she drafts letters to her ex (not sending them) and be okay with it? It's so disrespectful to me and the relationship. She would be furious if she knew I was doing something like that. But somehow it's just part of the process and I lack understanding of heartbreak when she does it to me.

    I suppose her not even messaging or fighting for it just justifies all my insecurities in the relationship that I was just a distraction. And the moment I stop enabling and validating her, I'm useless and she has no time for me.

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You were right to walk away. But don't expect a text.

  7. #46
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You were right to walk away. But don't expect a text.
    You donít think itís a bit shocking she just let me go without any fight?

  8. #47
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Blackpebble
    You donít think itís a bit shocking she just let me go without any fight?
    Its shocking to you because the relationship was very important to you.

    Sometimes we never really know a person or where we stand with them until its over. you see it now and its not what you thought.

    I'm sorry

  9. #48
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Its shocking to you because the relationship was very important to you.

    Sometimes we never really know a person or where we stand with them until its over. you see it now and its not what you thought.

    I'm sorry
    Yea that was pretty brutal to read then think about. It's like I was used or something..

    Why do you think she hasn't messaged to talk about returning our belongings and keys?

  10. #49
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Blackpebble
    Yea that was pretty brutal to read then think about. It's like I was used or something..

    Why do you think she hasn't messaged to talk about returning our belongings and keys?
    Some times people need space to process how they feel. So being that she's been quiet, I would be, too.

    Some times people can't deal with facing the other person. For whatever reason and they may not even know why. shame and embarassment come to mind.

    I'd forget about my belongings and change the lock. I try to never use any excuse to talk to an ex. If they had my work laptop, I'd tell my company, sorry I lost it. If I left my grandma's wedding band, well that's what my bff is for. Send them to fetch it.

    I just think its best to stay away. If you have anything of her belongings, box up and leave it in a closet. If she asks for it, tell her to pick a day when you can leave on her porch. Then get your friend to drop it.

    I might sound extreme and I may be.. but someone wants me gone? you don't have to tell me twice. Its better to protect yourself and not put yourself in stressful situation.

    And this final act of strength may just make them wonder... because believe me. she knows she hurt you and she completely expects you to contact her. Everyday you don't, you get a little piece of yourself back.

    The pain ebbs and flows. You'll do well for awhile, then feel like day 1 again. You'll be consumed with it and then one day, you'll realize you haven't been thinking of her much at all.

    Ride it out. Keep posting.

  11. #50
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Some times people need space to process how they feel. So being that she's been quiet, I would be, too.

    Some times people can't deal with facing the other person. For whatever reason and they may not even know why. shame and embarassment come to mind.

    I'd forget about my belongings and change the lock. I try to never use any excuse to talk to an ex. If they had my work laptop, I'd tell my company, sorry I lost it. If I left my grandma's wedding band, well that's what my bff is for. Send them to fetch it.

    I just think its best to stay away. If you have anything of her belongings, box up and leave it in a closet. If she asks for it, tell her to pick a day when you can leave on her porch. Then get your friend to drop it.

    I might sound extreme and I may be.. but someone wants me gone? you don't have to tell me twice. Its better to protect yourself and not put yourself in stressful situation.

    And this final act of strength may just make them wonder... because believe me. she knows she hurt you and she completely expects you to contact her. Everyday you don't, you get a little piece of yourself back.

    The pain ebbs and flows. You'll do well for awhile, then feel like day 1 again. You'll be consumed with it and then one day, you'll realize you haven't been thinking of her much at all.

    Ride it out. Keep posting.
    Great post.

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