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Thread: Dating app problem!

  1. #1
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    Dating app problem!

    Iím freaking out right now inside. I recently ended a five-year relationship. I broke it off two weeks ago. Iíve been alone for over a week. I decided today to go onto a pretty obscure dating app. Strictly just to look and maybe give myself a little hope that there are other people out there that I might be interested in. I am not ready to be in a relationship. Literally just looking.

    So like I said, I joined today. My ex messaged me tonight and said ďnice profile picď on said dating app. I cannot believe she was on there and found me. Same day, pretty obscure app. I feel completely disgusting and I absolutely cannot believe the odds. She was not happy about it. I never wanted to hurt her.

    Was it a mistake? Should I really feel this bad? I feel like such a complete POS. When she messaged me it felt like I was struck by lightning. Not a good day.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Uhmm, hello? She was on the dating site for the same reason.

    Why let her try to embarrass you over it? She can't do that without your permission. Tell her 'Thank you. Back at yah'!'

    Shrug it off and focus on yourself.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Uhmm, hello? She was on the dating site for the same reason.

    Why let her try to embarrass you over it? She can't do that without your permission. Tell her 'Thank you. Back at yah'!'

    Shrug it off and focus on yourself.
    Thanks. I know. Itís just that the break up was actually going very well. A lot of emotions but we were both very civil and mature. Now I feel like an a hole. Now has a reason to be angry and I hate the thought of that. Kills me.I just feel horrible. She wonít believe me but I was just looking.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    It doesn't seem like you two are acting like you're broken up.

    Do you regret breaking up? Do you want to ask her to reconcile?

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    It doesn't seem like you two are acting like you're broken up.

    Do you regret breaking up? Do you want to ask her to reconcile?
    No. The whole situation is obviously very hard but unless she makes some very significant changes, thereís absolutely no way it can work. And by changes I mean for her to be able to find happiness within her self. But that doesnít mean I donít have very strong feelings for her. I wish I didnít. I wish I didnít care.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Just deactivate the dating app for now. It's going to cause you more pain right now looking at other women when you're not quite all there.

    I'm not referring to running into her either. You're just not ready.

    If you're lonely, look at meetup.com and look for interest groups. Some of them are very obviously for singles and others are more get togethers for people of similar interests.

    Stay away from the dating apps right now.

    I think it's a red flag that she's on it fishing. Not a great catch. And further reason to keep things finished between the both of you.

    Focus on you.

  8. #7
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Sheís your ex. You didnít do anything to intentionally hurt her - let her manage her own feelings.

    And I agree with the other with other sentiments About staying off of OLD for a while until you get your feet u see you again.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It was 5 years, so yes, 2 weeks after a breakup and you're on a dating sites makes you look not great. It looks like she didn't matter and that you didn't care to be respectful enough to have a period of mourning over the loss of the relationship. After all, even though it ended, everyone wants to feel like they mattered and that they'll be missed, even if it can't be repaired.
    For someone to jump straight onto a dating site, it makes it look like she meant nothing and you are more than ready to jump to the next girl.

    Let's just say you were 'just looking'. It still isn't good to be doing that as you still need to heal (whether you think so or not) and you still need to let your ex go, mentally, emotionally and every other way possible until you feel no upset or pain over the loss, which can take a long time.
    Because unless you're a cold hearted ass, you would most definitely not be ready to date again right now so soon after and would not be completely over her.

    It makes more sense right now to reconnect with family and friends. Dating shouldn't be on the list for the time being. For a 5 year relationship? You should give it minimum 6 months before you go onto someone else.

    Why was she on there? If she loved you at all, she was probably scouring the dating sites to see if you had made a profile. Doesn't mean she wants you back. It means she's not over you yet and is having a difficult time letting go.
    So yeah, it wasn't a nice find for her.

  10. #9
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    If you were just looking why then did you put up a profile pic?

    It sounds like you checked out of the relationship before it ended.
    Why do you feel bad?

  11. #10
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    Why is she on the same dating App?

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