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Thread: What should i say to him?

  1. #51

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    But you are not paying, so? Why you afraid to videochat or meet?
    No i dont like video chatting with people online. I find it weird.
    I prefer meeting in person.
    He mentioned it but as i said with the restrictions, its not safe to meet as of yet

  2. #52
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Freya112
    No i dont like video chatting with people online. I find it weird.
    I prefer meeting in person.
    He mentioned it but as i said with the restrictions, its not safe to meet as of yet
    But the restrictions weren't in place when you two first started communicating, correct?

  3. #53

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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Wiseman, one other that I know of. Freya, is any of it helping? Both sites?

    I think you've gotten some good advice on how to handle situations like this. I'm not impressed with the way he asked you to text him a photo of yourself when you already have updated photos of yourself on the site/app. That's just silly and lazy on his part. There's also a good chance he's talking to others and he forgot what you looked like. Good for you for being hesitant. I wouldn't give a second glance to someone who asked me text him photos of myself.

    He's not the last guy on earth. There are others. Enjoy your youth.

    All things pass. This will too. There are all kinds of people out there. It's natural not to immediately find someone you click with. You're sort of holding onto this person and it could be stopping you from meeting new people? Why sabotage yourself like that? Time to move on and don't keep chatting with someone if they don't appear sincere, lazy, brain-dead, etc. to you from the get-go.
    Its funny because all the words you described at the end i think he thinks all of that as me.

    Oh he actually has the pic i sent months and months ago still. I think he described something i was wearing in the pic. So i was surprised he still has it.
    I deleted him off the app, so he can't see any of my pics now.
    I think he wanted clarity because he only has the one pic..whereas ive seen about four of five pictures of him. So i guess its fair to ask for one more.
    🤔
    Thanks for the supportive advice 😀

  4. #54

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    But the restrictions weren't in place when you two first started communicating, correct?
    No but he mentioned to meet during the restrictions. Before then i was kind of in n out of his life.

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  6. #55

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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Everything you've just accounted for is pretty much what you will continue to expect if you continue to online date. People will test you. You test them. None of it is surprising, from my experience. But at the same time all these same things seem to rattle you.

    All in all this just doesn't seem like a medium that works for you. Either that or you need to change the way you approach it, because what you are doing isn't working.

    No point disecting it any further. Besides the guy in question already left the room.
    Which things are normal and rattle me.
    Ive met tonnes off guys in person off apps and had bad experiences.
    But i still managed to persevere and carry on.
    Sometimes it can be frustrating meeting strange people. Thats all. I wouldnt say it rattles me.
    Last edited by Freya112; 06-12-2020 at 05:47 PM.

  7. #56
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Okey-dokey. Continue dragging out sending nonsense texts and 'bored' memes to guys and see how it goes. After all you can't meet, you won't videochat, you won't suggest a phone call and after all...they are all creeps anyway (more suited for your 'low-taste friends'). Every high quality guy I know wants to be jerked around forever by someone who is just way too good for 'the creeps on dating apps'.
    Originally Posted by Freya112
    i dont like video chatting with people online.
    its not safe to meet as of yet

  8. #57

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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    He said the same thing earlier about when are we going to break down invisible barriers. He meant the screen in between.
    So how many men did you reject based on that?


    As I recall, probably at least six. My goal was to find a lifetime companion. It's a lot of work, very time consuming, almost like a part time job. You have to date a boatload of people to find someone you share chemistry with AND matches you in all the major ways. Usually doesn't happen with the very first guy you date from OLD. Instead of thinking of it as barrier, think of it as using good sense, using your gut, and cutting off the losers either before you meet or after the first date. You now speak of red flags you had about the guy, so instead of cutting him off back then, you put him on ice, and had a wait and see attitude. You're being wishy-washy. You weren't comfortable with him during discussions, but you kept him wiggling on the line anyway.

    And did you find anyone in the end to date properly.

    I went on dates with about 30 men over a two and a half year period. Most only resulted in one date. One or both of us didn't feel chemistry. Or personalities didn't mesh. So what? Next! Sure, some experiences were frustrating and upsetting. That's par for the course with OLD. If I communicated two months before going out on an actual date, timewise, that would've taken me five years to date 30 men versus the two and a half years it took me to find "the one." Each person's experience is different, but I found my future husband on OLD.

    [B]Look I've always had barriers, im a reserved person. So that isnt for you to judge and then assume i have "smelly baggage".. what a rotten term. Im not trying to be funny but i have had some poor experiences with some men who have had a multitude of issues, either that or they were complete knobs whether it be online or offline.

    Has nothing to do with the next date. Don't expect the worst. Expect that you won't find out who a person is until you meet and gradually get to know him. Delaying that meeting does more harm than good, that is of course in the brief time you've been communicating, you've decided he's free of red flags. Don't take getting coffee in a safe public place so seriously. It's a chance to enjoy someone's company without projecting to the future. I dated jerks too, but I didn't give up or make men jump through hoops because of what I'd been through. I dated at a normal pace.

    This guy jumped to conclusions about me.. that i must be a catfish or im using him to have a texting friend. But none of those are true. [/B]
    Because the point of dating is to meet up within a few weeks. If you're not willing to do that, don't be on OLD. Of course you can vette people, but that doesn't take months without a first meet.
    Ive rejected about 300 people on the app. They were ones who liked my profile and pics and matched with me. This was after we messaged briefly, and they did or said something i didnt like.
    The guy in question did the same but then something made me come back. This doesnt happen often. Usually theyre rejected and the person wont hear from me again..sometimes i hearr from them asking why and what happened.

    I understand you've dated a lot and it didnt go according to plan always. But its probably still nothing in comparison to what ive experienced..it wasnt just a simple case of we didnt get on..things happened, a couple went abit further than they should have. When i say ive met nasty people, i meant it.
    On top of that no disrespect but im probably quite a bit younger than you

  9. #58

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Okey-dokey. Continue dragging out sending nonsense texts and 'bored' memes to guys and see how it goes. After all you can't meet, you won't videochat, you won't suggest a phone call and after all...they are all creeps anyway (more suited for your 'low-taste friends'). Every high quality guy I know wants to be jerked around forever by someone who is just way too good for 'the creeps on dating apps'.
    Ok what is with the attitude.
    Drop That, Thanks.

  10. #59
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Freya112
    No but he mentioned to meet during the restrictions. Before then i was kind of in n out of his life.
    So you were in and out of his life, but now you don't understand why he isn't interested anymore?

  11. #60

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So you were in and out of his life, but now you don't understand why he isn't interested anymore?
    I never said i don't understand.
    That wasnt my original question.

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