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Thread: Not sure about girlfriends guy friend

  1. #21
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    you know how she is from her past relationship.
    why did it not matter then but now its bothering you when she continues doin it.
    I dont think she is ready to be in a committed relationship but you think you are in one.
    Is her divorce finalized? You have seen the papers yet?
    There is no relationship here without her legally divorced, still she needs some time off to heal.
    Messy situation to be honest do you see a future in this relationship?

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by jrw
    She has no friends because she moved back from California to Florida a few years ago, all her friends are in Cali. Tbh she comes across as picky with friends and they need to meet a certain age criteria due to more maturity
    Eh, I moved continents and still met new friends in my new country, and it didn't take years to do so.

    It's also ironic that she expects new potential friends to be more mature when she herself isn't exactly the pinnacle of maturity yet, either. I have to wonder if there's something off-putting about her that makes other women wary of her and thus she finds it hard to connect with them.

    And how do you know her ex-husband encouraged her to accept free drinks from strange men? Did she tell you that? Whatever the reason, it's still incredibly reckless to accept a drink from a stranger, given that she would have no idea what someone might slip into it. It speaks to her general inability (or unwillingness) to look around corners and predict the risks of a situation. That sort of mindset is usually not limited to one specific behaviour - you're seeing that she approaches other situations with the same abandon as well, including your relationship.

  3. #23
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    You two are not even on the same page about anything.

    Are you confused about what to do because she'll sleep with you?

  4. #24
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    Iím not sure what youíre saying at the top of your message but it bothered me that she was doing that now. As for the divorce yes I saw the papers in January itís been over with since then. And yes I do see a future, weíve been able to work through a lot of other issues and I really want a future with her

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  6. #25
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    I agree with the friend part, also she usually gets along better with guy friends but still has female friends out of state. Tbh she probably does find it hard to connect with them, and as for accepting free drinks and her ex husband encouraging that yes she told me. I agree though I told her thatís dumb to do cause you never know what they put in it, anyways she said she always watched them buy the drink at the bar and give it to her (still doesnít make it acceptable though).

  7. #26
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    Also we discussed a lot of this today and she said that she always wants to go out dancing with me first before anyone else, but I donít. So when Iím with my friends she has nothing to do and goes out with him. I feel better now and tbh no harm. I told her me and her would start going out more and dancing since she likes dancing so much. As for her divorce stuff, she said she was over her ex a year before their divorce even started, I made sure of that when we started talking.

  8. #27
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    Another thing too is all her out of state male friends, ditched her during the divorce, they were her ex husbands friends too, and he was spreading rumors about her to them, so they ditched her. Makes no sense but yeah. She still has female friends just back in California

  9. #28
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    You either have to step up your game and go dancing with her instead of this guy who is trying to get with her by dancing OR accept that you are being replaced by him (and just not admitted to).

    OR

    Move on, find a woman who is more aligned with your idea of what a gf is and does.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    You either have to step up your game and go dancing with her instead of this guy who is trying to get with her by dancing OR accept that you are being replaced by him (and just not admitted to).

    OR

    Move on, find a woman who is more aligned with your idea of what a gf is and does.
    They both like dancing so they both do it, heís not replacing me. Itís dancing for Peteís sake, Iím confident and I know he has no chance with her regardless if heís even trying

  11. #30
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jrw
    They both like dancing so they both do it, heís not replacing me. Itís dancing for Peteís sake, Iím confident and I know he has no chance with her regardless if heís even trying
    If you're confident you wouldn't have posted "not sure about girlfriend's guy friend".

    Not trying to be nit picky but you are concerned.

    What would be your ideal outcome? That she would stop going dancing and drinking with him and stop staying at his home until wee hours? And that she would CHOOSE to stop without you having to ask? Or do you want to be OK with them spending this kind of time together?

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