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Thread: what do we do

  1. #71
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Darcus30
    so are you saying people don't get back together, it does happen
    Yes, it does. But only when both of the people want to get back together. It never happens when only one of them wants to.

    You have to look at how things are right now. If she is reaching out asking to talk about possibly reconciling that is one thing. But if she's just reaching out with random messages or spending time with you without ever mentioning reconciling then you have to presume she isn't interested in getting back together.

    And holding onto this hope with nothing from her indicating she wants to reconcile is why you're struggling and doing all the drinking. Acceptance is an important part of being able to move forward with your life.

  2. #72
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    thank you. Makes good sense, I feel a little better today but I'm up and down like a hoars knickers. Lol.
    Wish there was a tablet. Sounds strange but does anyone else think the pain is worse than a bereavement?

  3. #73
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    Darcus:

    It is a bereavement. Known as "bereavement not related to death".

    The pain of any bereavement is keen. However, when grief becomes prolonged and unresolved it is known as "complicated or chronic grief". Look it up. Plenty of information on how to address the issue.

  4. #74
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    thank you for your help. We are meeting for a quick drink shortly and il scared its to tell me about this chap, how should I react? Should I wish them thd best of luck etc? Ask if she loves him? Need urgent response pls

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  6. #75
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She's not going to discuss her sex life with you, so relax and just talk about the kids.

  7. #76
    Platinum Member LaHermes's Avatar
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    D.

    What Wiseman just said.

    Just talk about the kids.

    She is not and should not talk to you about the man or any other men in her life. Not your business in any case.

    You are not her friendly uncle or indeed her father confessor.

  8. #77
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Darcus30
    thank you for your help. We are meeting for a quick drink shortly and il scared its to tell me about this chap, how should I react? Should I wish them thd best of luck etc? Ask if she loves him? Need urgent response pls
    This is why you cannot feel better. You insist on seeing her and communicating with her and then are crushed when she (yet again!) doesn't want to reconcile.

    You are being your own worst enemy.

    If you won't look out for yourself who will?

  9. #78
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    thanks guys, I didnt mention him at all, we talked about us and had a laugh, both said (she first) ill always love you.
    Going again on Friday. I told her I know we are over and just want to be friends (was hard) lol
    Laughed like the old times but have accepted it now i think. Dont feel so down .
    Thanks

  10. #79
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    Bad day today, thinking of her with him, just want this paj to stop, had enough of everything today

  11. #80
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Are you still spending time with her?

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