Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 21

Thread: Time To Let Go?

  1. #11
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Heaven
    Posts
    766
    Gender
    Male
    Iím in my early 20ís and hope to have kids and a busy work life later on. Iím thinking I still have plenty of time to accomplish all of my goals with someone who really cares about me.
    Yes liberating feeling that, he doesn't care about the relationship one selfish careless person he is. He doesn't respect you at all.
    Time to take control of your life.

  2. #12
    KnightBlack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    Liberty, Kansas
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    ATTORNEY now. Is this an arranged marriage? Why is he in love with someone else but married you?
    Well, judging from the pain I felt when I first found out and the self harm scars I gathered up over the time span of a year, I would say no. The marriage is not an arranged one. Thank you for the advice about the lawyer but as for the questions you asked? I donít know the answers. For a while I thought he was in love with someone else and not me because I just am not good enough. Now that Iím in a much better state of mind, I know that it isnít true. I am good enough and itís him that isnít good enough right now. No cheater is good enough until they make self improvements.

  3. #13
    KnightBlack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    Liberty, Kansas
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Get yourself a lawyer and leave this marriage. It is not going to work. I am very sorry for the pain you are feeling.

    Yes, you can restart your life. And yes, you deserve to be with someone who actually cares about you. It will be heartbreaking and excruciating but after the pain subsides you'll experience a newness and freedom you can't even imagine.

    What you are going through is torture - emotional abuse, torture, torn at all sides and disbelief even.

    What he is showing you is real so please believe it. Take it to heart, believe it, make some changes now.

    No living person deserves to be treated with deceit and lies. You may be wondering how long it's gone on for and if she's the only one. If you've known all along or suspected but didn't know for sure until now, restart your life now.

    Don't waste those years with someone who doesn't treat you well. The worst thing you can ever do for yourself is recondition yourself into thinking you are ok or deserve this. It sounds early still and this hasn't completely destroyed your self-esteem and you do see you can restart your life. Grab onto that and leave.
    Itís true that what heís showed me is real. Itís been sometime now that Iíve known he was cheating. About a year ago he started talking to the other woman and as the weeks passed, I knew. Itís hard to explain but a lot of the time, you just know when your spouse is being unfaithful. I didnít have solid proof until about 2 months ago and since then, Iíve done some real healing. Most of the pain I feel these days is that of being lied to and used. I donít hurt so much anymore when I think of divorce. Heís made that part easy with the space he gave me. Iím on my own for the most part and I feel most like myself when Iím alone. When I ask if I should let go, I donít mean getting a divorce. I mean just letting go and not holding on for dear life to a marriage that was faked (on his part) for months. I think a divorce is probable if things continue with him not trying to repair damages. Iím letting go in the way that Iím not depending on him to fix me. Iím fixing me and Iím moving on with or without him. I have all the time God has planned for me and I want to be happy, however much time that is.

  4. #14
    KnightBlack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    Liberty, Kansas
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by arjumand
    Donít waste another moment on this manipulative loser. Get an attorney and get out now.
    Iím not wasting any more time than I have to. Heís over there and Iím over here right now and if it stays that way, Iím going to live my best life. Eventually, Iíll get a lawyer to file and make it all official. He does still have time to turn things around only because I donít have the money to file right away but as of right now, itís not working.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,557
    Gender
    Male
    A good lawyer can make him finance the divorce including your attorneys fees. But.... You want him back and hope he changed.

  7. #16
    KnightBlack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    Liberty, Kansas
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    A good lawyer can make him finance the divorce including your attorneys fees. But.... You want him back and hope he changed.
    If Iím not confused, you need money up front to pay a lawyer even if they can make him pay it all later. Seeing as he is broke right now too, I donít think a divorce is an option for me at the moment but do believe me, Iím doing good with him living away from me and I donít want him the way he is. I donít think heís going to change for me. For someone else, maybe but I feel bad for whoever he cheats on next because it wonít be me.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,557
    Gender
    Male
    Your anger is understandable. Can you legally keep him out of his own home? At least get a free initial consultation with an attorney. But you don't seem to want a divorce. You want him back and hope punishing him a little bit will change him. Is divorce allowed in your culture and religion?

  9. #18
    KnightBlack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    Liberty, Kansas
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Your anger is understandable. Can you legally keep him out of his own home? At least get a free initial consultation with an attorney. But you don't seem to want a divorce. You want him back and hope punishing him a little bit will change him. Is divorce allowed in your culture and religion?
    I am definitely angry. So, Iím catholic and we very much frown upon divorce (as we do infidelity). Iím not giving him an opportunity to change. The opportunity is just there. We have some time. because I made promises to him AND to God (thatís the promise that matters most to me) is why a divorce would be negative but Like I said before, it doesnít seem like heís changing and Iím not staying married to a cheater. This space thing is not a punishment for him. It was for me to have time to think and heal. The conclusion Iíve come to is letting it all be. Iím focusing on myself and my business. Iím done fighting for something that was worthless to him and right now, Weíre on the road to divorce. He doesnít want to talk feelings and heís not putting in any effort so neither will I. Iím definitely letting him go. Getting back together before I see some dramatic change is not an option for me and Iím not actively hoping he changes either. Iím fully mentally prepared to file. I didnít kick him out though, I should make that clear. I gave him the option of staying and me leaving or him leaving and me staying.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    39,557
    Gender
    Male
    How long have you been married? Will he talk to a priest with you about annulment? What's up with the daily texting? Does he want to save the marriage? Is he staying with his girlfriend?

  11. #20
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,041
    Divorce is not frowned upon within the Catholic church the way it was 30-40 years ago. However, if your personal beliefs are that divorce is a sin that is a different story.

    You can file for divorce with very little money down. I think I had to come up with $100.

    However, if you just don't want to divorce him and would rather wait to see if he changes then that is that.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Videos


Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems

Friendship Between Men and Women Often Involves Attraction

Infidelity

Most Women Rather Not Date Unemployed Men
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •