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Thread: Does he want me back or a friendship with me after to years?

  1. #11
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    The only reason I agree to go on a park near the river to drink is that everything is closed due to the lockdown here in canada. Also we walked a lot it wasnot like litterally a park only drinking and everything(my english is not the best I am french)

    I broke up with him for commitment issue.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lollipop300
    The only reason I agree to go on a park near the river to drink is that everything is closed due to the lockdown here in canada. Also we walked a lot it wasnot like litterally a park only drinking and everything(my english is not the best I am french)

    I broke up with him for commitment issue.
    So what has changed besides nothing? He is still the same guy and he is still turning the tables on you, playing you and your inability to let go and move on. He didn't go get a new brain and a new personality OP. Stop wasting your life on this. Block, delete, move on already.

  3. #13
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    I finally ask him why after two years he all of a sudden wants a friendship with me (see me and exchanges news in a regular basis) his response is confusing. (we can say ty)

    Here is his response:

    I am at the point of my life where I have no place in my heart for hate and I always respected and appreciated you no matter what happened between us. Normally its war between me and my exes. You are the only one I have this with. I still don't understand why also 🤷🏽♀️. And you why did you decided to talk to me? You could have chosen to never replied too?

    It's an horrible answer he didn't reply at all and return the question to me instead.

    Him and I are really look a like on a lot of things including pride. Especially since I am the one who dumped him. (Not making any excuses at all but I know the man has a lot of ego)

    Of course I didn't tell him I still have strong feelings for him. I said I just wanted to clear the air and I have never been in a situation like this before (which is true)

    I don't know what to do? I want him back but without the commitment issue.

    Years has passed he is now succesfull compared to when I met him and he will be in his 30s soon.

    What do yall think?

    Ill say he is complicated but I am way not better at this. I have to blame myself for that also.

  4. #14
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    You're wasting your time with him, OP.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    If you still have feelings for him, this isn't going to be fun for you.

    If you've moved beyond those feelings (which it doesn't sound like the case), I'd say go ahead and be friends.

    Unfortunately you'll have to decide whether he's worth being around with his commitment issues. That's a decision for you.

    My only caution is not to waste your life and your years on emotionally unavailable or unfulfilling relationships. It may seem harmless right now and go-nowhere but you'll look back one day and wonder why on earth you spent all that time over a person who didn't care about you the way that you care about him.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately he does not see you as relationship material after dumping him. He does not want a relationship or a commitment, at least with you. He will be nice or cordial to you, but he is not interested in reconciling. If he were, you would know.
    Originally Posted by lollipop300
    I am at the point of my life where I have no place in my heart for hate and I always respected and appreciated you no matter what happened between us. Normally its war between me and my exes. And you why did you decided to talk to me? You could have chosen to never replied too?

    I want him back but without the commitment issue.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 06-10-2020 at 03:50 PM.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lollipop300
    I finally ask him why after two years he all of a sudden wants a friendship with me (see me and exchanges news in a regular basis) his response is confusing. (we can say ty)

    Here is his response:

    I am at the point of my life where I have no place in my heart for hate and I always respected and appreciated you no matter what happened between us. Normally its war between me and my exes. You are the only one I have this with. I still don't understand why also 🤷🏽♀️. And you why did you decided to talk to me? You could have chosen to never replied too?

    It's an horrible answer he didn't reply at all and return the question to me instead.

    Him and I are really look a like on a lot of things including pride. Especially since I am the one who dumped him. (Not making any excuses at all but I know the man has a lot of ego)

    Of course I didn't tell him I still have strong feelings for him. I said I just wanted to clear the air and I have never been in a situation like this before (which is true)

    I don't know what to do? I want him back but without the commitment issue.

    Years has passed he is now succesfull compared to when I met him and he will be in his 30s soon.

    What do yall think?

    Ill say he is complicated but I am way not better at this. I have to blame myself for that also.
    I mean......he actually did give you a very good answer - he hasn't changed, he still won't commit to anything....including a straightforward response to a direct question, he did turn it around on you which is game playing. Basically he is still the same guy who plays the same tired games with your heart and head. His response is why you walked away the first time and nothing has changed. He literally proved this to you just now...again....

    Block, delete, move on. Enough of games already.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Anything other than a "I want us to try to work things out so we can be in a relationship" is a no.

    Although you didn't ask the question you REALLY wanted to ask..."do you want us to work toward getting back together?"

    I have to presume you were too scared to ask him. And if you're too scared to ask him this question you are nowhere near being able to be in a relationship with him even if he wanted to.

    He still isn't interested in committing, BTW. So saying you want him back without the commitment issues doesn't make sense because he obviously doesn't want to or he would have said so.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I am still of the camp - that 2 years is a long time. I personally think he'd be foolish to offer commitment without getting reaquainted.
    Bad timing, commitment issues. . whatever . isn't necessarily a crime.
    I don't know the context of the whole situation but he may be at a different point in his life and looking back with regrets.
    Again . . if you can handle it, can you risk getting reaquainted with him again? Do you have something to lose here? Serious question.. .
    I don't understand the knee jerk responses that his intentions are nefarious.
    If they are. . I am not seeing it.
    He may disappoint you again. So will the next person. But do you have what it takes to be objective and observe him from an emotional distance?

  11. #20
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    His response was very clear in the sense that he does not want to renew a romantic relationship with you.

    And having you as a friend is simply to feed his pride and ego.

    Since YOU are NOT interested in having a platonic relationship with him , then the only thing to do is remove him completely.

    Iím sorry to say but you label him as having commitment issues, yet I donít see it that way at all.
    Having an issue with committing to you is simply that.
    He could meet someone else next month and fully commit.

    He is just not that into you.
    And thatís ok.
    But the longer he remains in your life under any capacity , the shorter your chances of meeting someone who will be into you and will commit.

    Cut the ties. No explanation necessary but you could simply say that you donít have the room in your life to entertain another friendship. Wish him well and then delete and block.

    Good luck!

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