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Thread: How to build trust again

  1. #11
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    Im going to try to look at this from another point of view and assume that its not about sex, but its about lack of knowledge and or experience. It could very well be not about sex but its what the guy has either learned or observed from other friends and they believe that a "come over to my place" is appropriate for the second date.

    So maybe instead of assuming its about sex, change the mindset and say that its just possibly inexperience. It sounds like you are not comfortable with the "Come over" date so instead just politely suggest another place or challenge the guy to be more creative then "come over". If they balk, hesitate or try to come over still, then you have your answer and can say no thank you, good luck on your search.

    Remember in this day and age, courting is a forgotten skill. Its about the insta gratification and the mentality "why should I have to work hard for something I want?". It is possible that guys are into that instead of using their imagination..

  2. #12
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    The second date at their place is all about hooking up.

    Are you attracted to charmers? What is your type?

    Good on you for cutting these guys off!

  3. #13
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    Not for a movie, I think to invite for having sex.

  4. #14
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    Yes what's so strange that he wants sex? Why on earth would he try his best if he didn't want to get laid fast? Sex is a good motivation to look your best for a few times.

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  6. #15
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    if I propose smth to do outside and he agrees, is there any chance he was just testing the waters before and he may be a good guy, is there any possibility, or he will just fake like he like to go out? Thats the point I do not trust that much peoole, if he says ok to a date outside I will think oh he is just saying that but what he really wants was what he proposed at beginnung. Btw he isnt charming and Im not fond of supermodel guys, I may say he was smart and good talkative but not handsome.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by score123
    if I propose smth to do outside and he agrees, is there any chance he was just testing the waters before and he may be a good guy, is there any possibility, or he will just fake like he like to go out? Thats the point I do not trust that much peoole, if he says ok to a date outside I will think oh he is just saying that but what he really wants was what he proposed at beginnung.
    You really don't know. You have to take the "risk" to find out. It's not about trust. There are two scenarios: 1) he wants just sex for a few times 2) He wants sex and he wants to date you as well. If you have misgivings just don't do it.
    Originally Posted by score123
    Btw he isnt charming and Im not fond of supermodel guys,
    Ah, nobody wants us. What a curse.

  8. #17
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    Ah, nobody wants us. What a curse.


    Hahah didn't mean to offend, but people in here without me saying anything about the appearance of guy assumed he was charming and I got attracted to him just because of that.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How old is he? Is he a student on a budget? Do ALL the guys you date suggest that or just this one? You need to invite also. Can't you just say no to in home dates?

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    It's a classic sh*t test to determine what quality of person you are. Are you the type that will sleep with them early, or scurry away in fear? Or, are you the woman that will stand up for yourself, that you are looking for something deeper and not prepared to have a home date until you are ready. If they continue to pester after you have stood up to them, then best just get rid of them.

    The test weeds out the people they aren't looking for and is done by men and women, just in different ways.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is this the same guy who wants you to pay for second dates? Yes eventually dating is for romance not friends. You control the pace, so why ponder this? Just don't go to guy's homes too soon, it's that simple.
    You seem to be asking for a future forecast about motives, interest, character, etc but you will just have to wait and see. One date and you want a roadmap for the future based on signs and guessing, not facts

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