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Thread: Dating app problem!

  1. #31
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    The whole point is, if either one of you cared about the other one at all, neither of you would be "peeking" on dating sites or messing around with other people at all right now.

    You can have hope, by thinking about it in your mind and deciding that one day you will move onto someone else. But that's in the future. The women you see on the dating sites are not the ones for you right now and there's a good chance they won't be around when you do decide to date, (which hopefully won't be for a least 6 months or more).

    As for kissing or sex right now, that's a good way to not only screw your head up some more, but to involve more people in your confusion and upset.
    Just don't.

    Heal, spend time with family and friends, re-center yourself back to who you are without desperately needing attention from the opposite sex or only feeling important if you're someone's partner.
    In fact, feeling the need for either of those things is a huge red flag that you're not healthy enough to be in a relationship right now.

    People are meant to go into relationships to add to that person's life and to bring good things, not to be needy or to cling to them for some kind of healing.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Originally Posted by Destroyed 33
    Hey thanks for that. Itís tough. The littlest stupidest things just shake you up so much. Itís ridiculous.
    Of course its going to get to you. After 5 years she is part of the fabric in your life and the thought of her not being in your life hurts. Its not easy to go thru. And you are less than a month or about a month from the break up and the feelings are going to be very raw, the mind is spinning in circles and your emotions are all over the place. One second you are okay, the next you can be confused, and the next you could be hurt and who knows where it goes next. And every time the needle spins you have no idea where it will go.
    She is dealing with the same issues as you, but in a different way. You were a part of her life and its not easy not to have you in it. Her emotions are like a leaf blowing in the wind. It might stop for a second then fly away to a new emotion. Meanwhile you are trying to figure out what she is thinking when she herself might not know what she is thinking. So that makes you crazy.
    All I can suggest is that you look at yourself. Accept the current moment which is, you two are not dating anymore, she will find someone else and you will find someone else. You will find happiness and so will she. It is going to take time for that reality to sink in, but it will get there and that is acceptance. When you accept that she will always be a part of your history, she made you better and you made her better and you two shared great memories and its going to be but one chapter in a series of chapters in your life.
    Doesn't mean you will ever forget her but in time the emotions tied to your feelings will fade away as long as you don't actively keep those ties fresh and strong. I can tell you how my first ever GF dumped me, but Im not going to cry over it because the emotions are not longer tied with that memory. Eventually youll get to the point where you can think of her and smile but not get all emotional. Its going to happen.
    I know until that day happens, its going to suck! So be strong, accept that you two are on different paths and you will be okay. So focus on your happiness, let her focus on hers.

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