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Thread: Dating app problem!

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    If you were just looking why then did you put up a profile pic?

    It sounds like you checked out of the relationship before it ended.
    Why do you feel bad?
    I figured the picture was required. I didn’t fill out any of the other information whatsoever. Just wanted to take a peek. Horrible coincidence.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's time to delete and block her and All her people from All your apps. Social media, messaging, dating apps, etc. No problem getting a profile to look around. The problem is not blocking her from everything and every device.
    Originally Posted by Destroyed 33
    I decided today to go onto a pretty obscure dating app. Strictly just to look and maybe give myself a little hope that there are other people out there that I might be interested in.

    My ex messaged me tonight and said “nice profile pic“ on said dating app.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Often, people are in very shaky mindsets after a breakup. You each made mistakes. What's done is done, so the only thing you can do now is what's best for yourself. Stay off the dating apps, because if your ex could see and message you, other women might as well. And when they find out you're weeks out of a 5 year relationship, the together ones will book it out of there like Speed Racer. And you are not ready to date, even if the breakup was your choice and you've been checked out for a while.

    Give yourself time to learn how to be happy solo for a while--to regain the knowledge of who you are without a partner. You'll thank yourself later when you're at a better place mentally to date again.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Did you respond?

    Ignore her on all fronts. Block and delete her from everything and that problem is taken care of. You have enough to work on without her popping up every 3 days setting you back.


    Do you want to heal and move on or not? It is that simple.

    Lost

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    Often, people are in very shaky mindsets after a breakup. You each made mistakes. What's done is done, so the only thing you can do now is what's best for yourself. Stay off the dating apps, because if your ex could see and message you, other women might as well. And when they find out you're weeks out of a 5 year relationship, the together ones will book it out of there like Speed Racer. And you are not ready to date, even if the breakup was your choice and you've been checked out for a while.

    Give yourself time to learn how to be happy solo for a while--to regain the knowledge of who you are without a partner. You'll thank yourself later when you're at a better place mentally to date again.
    I am honestly not trying to be in a relationship whatsoever right now. Just taking a quick peek for the sake of some hope. I can’t believe the odds. For the record I do horrible on those sites. Took me a whole year to find somebody and maybe three messages throughout the course of a whole year. Really bad. Just wanted to sneak a peek at what the scene looks like. It’s horrible.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    A few thoughts.

    I know you're hurting right now, looking for something to boost your confidence, and totally understand the urge to find it by swiping around, by "just looking." Did the same thing myself, 24 hours after my last relationship ended. Not sure anything felt more icky and insincere, so I deleted the app and searched for confidence elsewhere: feeling the feelings, traveling, reading, connecting with friends, accepting that it was okay to just be lost for a bit. True game changer, that period, one that eventually primed me for the world of swiping and dating—and loving—on a different level than I'd ever known. Guess what I'm saying is that who you are in healing is who you are, the shape you heal into, so it's worth being mindful of the choices you're making in regards to where you want to be on the other side of this moment.

    As for her response? Shrug it off. It's kind of just an extension, in the end, of why you've decided to breakup: the impulsiveness, the edge, the drama, the inability to process tough feelings with some grace and maturity. She's on there, after all, for the same reasons you're on there. In short, this is noise. Whether you're spending your days chasing orgies or meditating in a mountaintop cave, those choices are yours, not for her. She's free to judge them, of course, but to use that judgement as a means to connect—well, that's just a solid sign of someone to continue the melancholy process of disconnecting from.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    She purposely wanted you to feel bad/guilty for revenge...it's your damn life you do what you want she has no say.....if she doesn't like it so what. Block and delete her. You broke up for a reason....I'm sure that was part of it. You need to be confident, do something fun, keep yourself busy...dating apps can wait.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Destroyed 33
    I am honestly not trying to be in a relationship whatsoever right now. Just taking a quick peek for the sake of some hope. I can’t believe the odds. For the record I do horrible on those sites. Took me a whole year to find somebody and maybe three messages throughout the course of a whole year. Really bad. Just wanted to sneak a peek at what the scene looks like. It’s horrible.
    The scene is always horrible. Dating apps are a blend of Mars and Jupiter - pock-marked with craters (gaping holes in logic and too-empty profiles), photoshopped mirages like terrible gasses swirling to confuse you and awkward conversations on top of sex-seeking and rebound casual hook ups (asteroids and meteors).

    I met my husband that way but I can't say it was the best way to meet someone. There is always a hit and miss when you meet new people.

    Cut yourself some slack, kick back with a margarita on a beach and feel the warm sun. Eat fresh coconuts.

    The only thing that matters now is you, the sun, the warm summer air or cool air wherever you are.

    A friend recently introduced me to podcasts but I can't seem to get into it because the constant talking is actually quite annoying to me. There are a few that I like though and put on occasionally. Maybe check this out and find new hobbies. There are whole galaxies waiting to be discovered. You don't need to be stuck on Mars and Jupiter.

  10. #19
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    I just think her comment is the pot calling the kettle black for her to even have seen you on that site! I would just move forward and block her drama.

  11. #20
    Gold Member waffle's Avatar
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    Why shouldn't she be on dating apps if that's what she chooses? What, is she supposed to become a nun simply because some guy dumped her?

    As the dumpee, though, it's a bit more awkward to beat feet to the dating apps and get caught doing so. And the whole "just looking" mentality is exactly why -- or one of the many reasons why -- the experience is so horrible for the majority. It reduces people to no more than merchandise. I mean "just looking" is what you do when you go shoe shopping.

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