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Thread: Is he on rebound?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    After 2 dates and worse, this recent announcement that he and his wife just had a baby, this should be a blessing.
    Originally Posted by TanyaJo
    True but being blocked is so hurtful :(

  2. #32
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    This guy treated his ex wife poorly. He comes to the date going on and on about it.

    Why are you even bothering with him? Seriously.

    Huge red flags here. He's not a good partner and secondly, no, he's not over her if all he can talk about is her. If he truly were over it all, she wouldn't have been mentioned at all.

    But truthfully, the reason why they broke up would have me running the other way. No way would I be willing to date a man who treats a woman badly. If someone shows you who they are, or you hear about it...BELIEVE IT.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    What hurts me more is, do I deserve to be blocked for being supportive?
    I mean this in the most supportive way, you should have expected this.

    As soon as you hear someone ranting about their ex, run. This guy was worse than that. He was a total liar. I would bet he's got more than one woman on the go. He most likely is useless father who is not responsible and doesn't take care of his family right. He blames everyone else, but himself.
    The problem is totally HIM.

    I really do hope that you've learnt a lesson though. Don't let the start of a new relationship and all the rush of feelings that make you feel on cloud nine, make you not see things sensibly and have you looking past obvious red flags.
    This guy was always one that should have been thrown back. He was never a good one.

    Next time (if/when you do decide to date). Instead of jumping into things, building it up to be a romance, step back a bit and focus more on getting to know someone without getting to caught up in emotions. Try to be more sensible and really get to know someone BEFORE you decide that they are 1.) Someone who is worth dating long term 2.) Someone that deserves your time and attention.
    (I would give it until at least the fourth date). Not meeting for online chats 4 times, mind you. But actually meeting, sitting down together and having a date. Only then will you get a clearer picture of who they are.

    If at anytime you start hearing about an ex, (especially bad mouthing them), or if they show sides of them that are not attractive, (such as being a jerk, thoughtless, etc)...or treat others this way. Really take notice as this will save you a lot of time and emotions over someone who is not worth even speaking to, nevermind dating.

  4. #34
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    Thank you very much for your advice on this. It really gave clarity.

    Thinking about it now there were a lot of red flag. The first nice thing he told me was "Just for the record, I'll miss not seeing you. Don't let that get to your head". Though this felt nice and weird at the same time, now I can see how it could be very controlling later.

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  6. #35
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    It is a blessing that you've been blocked.

    The moment he told you his ex-wife had his baby was the same moment should’ve cut all ties. There is zero reason to inquire about his health; you barely know this man and you saw red flags from the beginning. I don’t see the need to extend sympathy in his direction. My guess is that he's not being honest on all the details of his current situation, either.

    Time to close this door forever.

  7. #36
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    Yes I agree. I am starting to feel better but will take time to be fully over this. He either got back to his ex after the news of his second baby or found a new woman and blocked me. Either way, lots of unknowns and lies.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why were you so invested after a few dates? Were you intimate and falling for him?

  9. #38
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why were you so invested after a few dates? Were you intimate and falling for him?
    We started chatting a month ago and met twice. No, we did not get physical at all. We both agreed to take things slow and see where it goes after a few dates.
    Our conversations and connection was really good right from the start. He always followed up on how my day was and even things related to work that bothered me. He was too good to be true and hence being blocked came as a shock.
    Also to give you a perspective I am 34 and he is 40 and we also worked in similar industry (work wise) so we had a lot in common.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by TanyaJo
    He was too good to be true and hence being blocked came as a shock.
    Was he really, though? You started this thread for a reason, remember.

    You only had two dates and were already wondering if he wasn't over his ex. That is not too good to be true. I think your hurt over being blocked is clouding your memory about this man.

    My sense is that it felt so good to have a man being somewhat attentive to you that you let those flattered feelings overshadow the obvious red flags - and that is what you miss: the feeling of being liked and admired, rather than the man himself.

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Was he really, though? You started this thread for a reason, remember.

    You only had two dates and were already wondering if he wasn't over his ex. That is not too good to be true. I think your hurt over being blocked is clouding your memory about this man.

    My sense is that it felt so good to have a man being somewhat attentive to you that you let those flattered feelings overshadow the obvious red flags - and that is what you miss: the feeling of being liked and admired, rather than the man himself.
    Yes, that seems right sadly.
    I had a lot of question marks about him, but yet to give him the benefit of the doubt I let it play out.
    I enjoyed chatting and meeting him despite the red flags. He gave me the attention and affection I needed.

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