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Thread: Is he on rebound?

  1. #11
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    He isnít over the end of his marriage and thus he is not ready to date.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I personally wouldn't date someone who is so bent out of shape with their ex, and is so negative. I wouldn't care how infatuated he was (red flag to that too)....I think you are making a mistake dating this guy. Especially expecting his wife to get back to work right after having a baby...he's very insensitive. When people drag up their previous relationship as a conversation on a date, I would be saying no to another date.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Never date a guy with baggage otherwise his problems become your endless angst.

    Don't do anything. Don't proceed.

    Be with a catch. Your online guy is NOT a catch.

  4. #14
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    You don't proceed. Never offer to be someone's therapist. He is not over the marriage.

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  6. #15
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    His ex didnít suddenly leave him and accuse him of being belittling , controlling etc.
    leaving him dumbfounded lol

    Clearly an ongoing thing that didnít get resolved and she eventually left him for the things that were not resolved.

    6 months later and he still thinks she left him abruptly?? What a joke!
    He still talks bitterly about her and still canít come to the conclusion that he was part of a relationship that failed.

    AND There is a child involved.

    It doesnít matter how long someone is separated. That does not mean they are ready to date.
    They are ONLY ready to date when their feelings become indifferent to their ex .
    For some that is never!

    Tell him you arenít interested and no you donít have to explain why.

  7. #16
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    Thanks everyone. When I asked him "Are really over your past"? he got so defensive and started turning it back on me saying things like "based on some of the things you said, looks like you are not still over your past" and he added, "If you don't mind pls don't ask this question again, if I am not over my past, I would not be dating".

  8. #17
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TanyaJo
    Thanks everyone. When I asked him "Are really over your past"? he got so defensive and started turning it back on me saying things like "based on some of the things you said, looks like you are not still over your past" and he added, "If you don't mind pls don't ask this question again, if I am not over my past, I would not be dating".
    While his response is pretty lameóand tellingóasking someone you hardly know a question like this is rarely going to lead to anything productive. Aggressive lines of questioning tend to produce defensive results, as evidenced in courtrooms for centuries.

    Romance, though, is not a trial. He spent your second date talking endlessly about his ex, his divorce, his custody issues. Lots of information, right there. Why not just listen to that, listen to how it makes you feel, skip the litigating of a stranger and make the right choice for you?

    Like, let's say that, instead of talking about his ex, he just talked and talked about something that bored you to tears. Would you ask, "Are you really an interesting person?" Or would you decide, based on being bored, that he wasn't someone to continue to date? It's basically the same, at this stage.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Just another red flag and pretty much confirms why his ex left. Run. It's a silly question because people are going to answer as he did. You need keen observation and in this case simply noting the Glaring Red flags.
    Originally Posted by TanyaJo
    he added, "If you don't mind pls don't ask this question again, if I am not over my past, I would not be dating".

  10. #19
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    i think he just showed you he needs loads of time to be ready for a relationship.
    So you need to tell him politely this will not work out and good bye.
    Dont be friends you will just be his crying shoulder

  11. #20
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    Generally a date is where you put your best foot forward. You're trying to impress the other person with your great personality.

    This guy spent his time, on a second date with you, talking about his ex, his divorce, his custody issues. Did he mention vital information briefly? Or did he voluntarily speak about those topics at great length? The latter is a red flag in my opinion.

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