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Thread: Should I Meet him for a Conversation?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    How is he paying his rent and internet bill if he's not working and doesn't have you to help pay the bills? Is he receiving unemployment benefits?

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    How is he paying his rent and internet bill if he's not working and doesn't have you to help pay the bills? Is he receiving unemployment benefits?
    Yes we are in canada so he is getting $2,000 a month for unemployment due to COVID right now

    Clearly he isnt struggling because he just left for a week to go on a road trip with a friend.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by charbyrde
    Yes we are in canada so he is getting $2,000 a month for unemployment due to COVID right now

    Clearly he isnt struggling because he just left for a week to go on a road trip with a friend.
    And what will happen when that dries up? Also it's not that much money in terms of rent and all the other bills....not to mention his addiction to pot. Yes, if he is smoking every single day, he has gone way beyond recreational use.

  4. #14
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    1) Avoidant with gaming and weed
    2) Invasion of privacy
    3) Lazy - can't clean up after himself
    4) Inconsiderate - makes you leave during a pandemic
    5) Zero ambition - leaves good job
    6) Selfish - no where in what he does is in consideration of you
    7) Bad listener - won't even hear you out
    8) Incompassionate - doesn't even see how he was culpable in all this

    Why do you want this dude? Throw all the good times prior out the window. This is the who he truly is. Imagine adding kids to the mix?

    I mean, yeah, the pandemic is so stressful and tough. My hubs had two panic attacks, and a hypertensive crisis 10 days ago, and he still made sure to take care of the kids, and do the dishes, and other projects. I think you need to aim higher.

    And do not for one minute blame yourself. This guy is finally showing you when the going gets tough, all he cares about is himself.

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  6. #15
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    You 2 are incompatible IMO. He still has a lot of growing up to do.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by charbyrde
    Yes we are in canada so he is getting $2,000 a month for unemployment due to COVID right now

    Clearly he isnt struggling because he just left for a week to go on a road trip with a friend.
    Is he the responsible type who will not spend money on entertainment unless and until all of his bills and utilities are paid?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by charbyrde
    Should I meet up with him?
    HELL, NO.

    Originally Posted by charbyrde
    What are his intentions of meeting with me?
    To get his free live-in maid and mommy back. No offense.

    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Think about this - he has a good job, he quits because he can't handle it. He gets a lesser job, gets laid off and reacts with being high and playing games 24/7, you have to actually beg him in tears to at least help a little around the house. This isn't a man, it's a manchild and your relationship dynamic is you playing mommy to him and begging baby to clean his room instead of gaming. Not to mention that he invades your privacy, eavesdrops on your personal, private conversations among friends, get his ego hurt and dumps you.
    Exactly. I don't understand why you 'don't blame him for any of this.' Whose fault is this if it is not his?

    Do you have no respect for the male gender? Do you think there are no men out there who are able to cope with problems and care for themselves and for other people?

    You've coped through the same 'very confusing time' working as a nurse. I'm sure COVID made your job harder, not easier. But you didn't quit work to get stoned and play video games all day. Instead, you've pushed through and done your best to maintain your routines.

    I lost my job at the end of March. I did not resort to wasting entire days on video games, getting high, and shutting out my responsibilities to my partner.

    My boyfriend's family business practically tanked as a result of COVID, they laid everybody off (including him), and aren't sure whether the business can survive. My boyfriend loves video games, and he plays the sht out of them during all of this downtime, but he still does his half of the chores and makes time for me and for us. He also loves to get stoned, but hasn't touched the stuff in eight years. He didn't use the collapse of his family business and this 'very confusing time' as an excuse to relapse.

    You are going to get stuck with men like this over and over again, until you learn to accept that all men are not pansies, and that all men do not require you to mother them.

    This too:

    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I think the way he treated you by kicking you out in such a knee jerk reaction is unforgivable
    Terrible.
    Last edited by Jibralta; 06-08-2020 at 12:54 PM.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    I mean when you reach that level of frustration with your bf that you say those things.......maybe it's time for you to take a big step back and rethink the relationship and whether you really should be with this guy at all.

    Think about this - he has a good job, he quits because he can't handle it. He gets a lesser job, gets laid off and reacts with being high and playing games 24/7, you have to actually beg him in tears to at least help a little around the house. This isn't a man, it's a manchild and your relationship dynamic is you playing mommy to him and begging baby to clean his room instead of gaming. Not to mention that he invades your privacy, eavesdrops on your personal, private conversations among friends, get his ego hurt and dumps you.

    This guy is what you call a loser and it's not going to get better. Sure he might step up temporarily, but in the long run? He'll pull you down as you kill yourself working long hours and shifts to pay the bills and keep cooking and cleaning while he sits on his arse. I'm speaking with a bit of life mileage and experience over you here. Men like that do not grow up.

    Don't get so caught up in feeling guilty about what you said. He should be apologizing to you for eavesdropping into what is none of his business. What you were venting to your friends was not for his ears and he had no business reading that. None. You actually had every right to be frustrated with him and his behavior....and you might want to think on that frustration a bit before you stoop to begging him to come back into your life. Maybe just maybe...you shouldn't.
    I agree. This guy is a manchild and loser. Quitting his job as a manager because he could handle it. Not good.

    Smoking weed all day and playing video games while you are busting your azz at work and home is inexcusable. This is what your future would look like if you continue with this guy.

    Don't go back!

  10. #19
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I mentioned this in your other thread, OP - he didn't just stumble across your messages by accident. He deliberately and intentionally went looking for trouble. Why? To find something to hold over your head? To punish you for "making" him step up and get start pulling his load in the relationship? Because he wanted to dump you?

    Please stop and think about this long and hard OP - he was looking because he was on a warpath already, not because you talked and things were great or on the mend. Maybe that's the image he temporarily presented to you, but beneath that something else was brewing. Beware.

    Now think on this - after all the bs behavior and garbage he has pulled, he will deign to listen to you beg, grovel, and apologize to him? Talk about turning the tables on you and distracting away from the fact that he is full of bs and a total loser. Yeash. Please don't fall for this garbage gaming. He might have unplugged his gaming system, but that's only because he is gaming you in real life in real time.

  11. #20
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    And to add on. So he can't do dishes or vacuum, but he has plenty of time to go on vacation from playing all those video games? Instead of treating our FRONTLINE worker to a wonderful treat!!!??????!!!!!!!!!!!

    Please, for love of all things COVID - this guy is not the one. Pass on thinking you need to apologize. I mean, you were telling your friends about his behavior, and I think you know deep down that this is not how it's suppose to be.

    Thank you for your service!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Please love yourself, and don't spend one more minute talking to someone who had months to listen.

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