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Thread: Long distance relationship- University

  1. #1

    Long distance relationship- University

    Hi, for the past few months Iíve been talking to this girl I met online. Itís been going really well and weíve been messaging and FaceTiming regularly. Later this year she will be coming to my hometown (Exeter) and I will be starting a masters in Bristol. Last week I ended things because, from what Iíve heard, LDRs donít work at uni and I assumed this would be the same. I could feel myself getting really attached to her and wanted to spare us the pain. More importantly, I also assumed she didnít think it would work but when I ended things she said she actually did and because Exeter and Bristol arenít far apart, plus she has a car, it wouldnít be that difficult. I regretted it as soon as I said I wanted to end things as weíre really compatible which I rarely experience with girls. Iím considering asking her if she wants to resume things with me. What would you guys suggest?
    Cheers, Adam

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you met in person?

  3. #3
    We have yeah and it went really well

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    How far are you from each other? I would say if you met her in real life and you really like her, to give it a try if you're not too far apart. How long does it take between Exeter and Bristol? Another option is you could stay at each other's place on weekends. I think LDR can work if you see the person regularly in real life.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, tell her that. Suggest getting together. You're just talking, so no big commitment. See how it goes.
    Originally Posted by Adambrooks7
    We have yeah and it went really well

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Just apologize for jumping the gun and not speaking with her about it first. If you have a habit making unilateral decisions on your own now's a good time not to jump to conclusions too quickly on your own without speaking with the person you're involved with first. It's not a big deal and don't feel ashamed about it either. Just a learning bump.

    Take it slow and make some plans to spend time in person. If you feel yourself getting attached, don't spend so much online time and cut back the daily good mornings and good evenings. Touch base every day or every other day but don't flood each other with tiny details and every single thing going on in your lives. Talk with her about that and how you should both resume your lives without getting so deep in with each other before you've spent adequate time in person.

  8. #7
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    What is she going to your home town for?
    Study or work?

    Iím assuming later in the year means September given itís UK and usually the start of a study year?
    So a few months away yet. Anything could happen.

    Itís about an hour and half drive away.
    Where is her hometown and where is she currently living and who visited who when you met?

    In my experience of UNI , relationships tend to dwindle regardless. No distance.
    Not just my own personal experience but of those surrounding me.
    Add distance into the equation and itís less likely to survive.

    Iím seeing her as a risk taker and you not so.
    Iím also seeing you being logical and her less so?

    You have nothing to lose by reaching out to her but you both need to be realistic and understand each otherís expectations.

    Good luck!

    You mentioned she said she has a car. Am I to assume you donít? Does that mean the travel expectation will be on her or are you willing to travel by public transport to her?


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