Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: Feelings towards someone at work

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    63

    Feelings towards someone at work

    Hi all, will try and keep this short. I started a new job back in Jan and I've had someone training me since I started (Me M25 , her F31). She's really good at her job and has taught me well, but since we've been working from home I've only had contact with her over skype and phone and I'm starting to come along now so need less and less training, thus less contact.

    Anyway this week something has only ticked in me that I really like her. Like I had a sleepless night over her on Friday... what is that all about? 2 problems though, as far as she's aware she still thinks I'm in a relationship - which I'm not. But I don't want to just come out with it that I'm not together with my ex anymore. I messaged the girl from work on FB yesterday (something work related to break the ice) and she replied quite thoroughly but the conversation just went dead straight away.

    Secondly, what with us still being isolated and working from home I'm not sure how to drop to her that I have feelings. I don't mind if she doesn't feel the same way, I get the whole working relationship can totally get in the way of things but I'd rather have closure than keep thinking about her.

    I've never felt this way before, as I say she was training me for about 4-5 months and I never saw her more than just a work colleague/friend but over the past week it feels like someones gave me the biggest punch in the face realisation that actually I really like her.

    Anyone had similiar experience?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,114
    Gender
    Male
    Why does she think you are in a relationship?

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    63
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why does she think you are in a relationship?
    Because when I started back in January it came up in conversation somewhere. I moved house around that time with my ex so I guess that's how she knows.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,114
    Gender
    Male
    You are not in a relationship with her nor dating, so don't blurt out your feelings. Enjoy the crush and fantasies but don't make it awkward.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    63
    True true, just not sure how to handle the situation. When at work, sometimes she's really chatty with me and it almost feels like she's flirting at times. Other times she's really quiet and won't really talk. I guess that's just who she is as a person.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    10,706
    I would not confess your feelings to her. You don't know her well enough to know how she might react to that.

    Instead, you could try to chat about non-work things, and see if she is even receptive. You could also try to slip into the conversation that you're single now and see if she picks up on it. This is dicey since you work together, so you need to err on the side of caution and proceed slowly, reading her cues along the way.

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    63
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I would not confess your feelings to her. You don't know her well enough to know how she might react to that.

    Instead, you could try to chat about non-work things, and see if she is even receptive. You could also try to slip into the conversation that you're single now and see if she picks up on it. This is dicey since you work together, so you need to err on the side of caution and proceed slowly, reading her cues along the way.
    I agree. Thank you.

    I've been stung before playing the patient game. I was investing a lot of emotion/time/thought into a girl when I was younger, taking my time and not rushing things. Next thing I know there's a picture of her with another guy on her Myspace page. It hurt. My heads telling me to not fall for this one again but I understand. You are right. I know I'm still young(ish) but I've learnt that if things aren't meant to be then they aren't meant to be.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    5,029
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I would not confess your feelings to her. You don't know her well enough to know how she might react to that.

    Instead, you could try to chat about non-work things, and see if she is even receptive. You could also try to slip into the conversation that you're single now and see if she picks up on it. This is dicey since you work together, so you need to err on the side of caution and proceed slowly, reading her cues along the way.
    I heartily agree.

    I also recommend waiting until you're back in the office to act on any of this.

    You're not that far out of your last relationship, and you've been isolated for several months. You could have a special kind of rebound-fueled cabin fever.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    4,129
    This is also a new job and where new jobs are concerned at this time they don't appear very often. Be very cautious.

    When again did your last relationship end? Was it this year?

    If so, things seem a bit too soon. Take a breather. Don't do anything virtual. Spend more time in person. Don't share your feelings - just ask her out later in the year if you see her again in person if you absolutely must.

    Do you see qualities in this new person that you didn't see in your ex? I ask out of curiosity.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    52,018
    Great input here. Does she supervise you in an ongoing way? (I originally met my husband at work!)

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •