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Thread: Lockdown mental health

  1. #1
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    Lockdown mental health

    Hello all,

    I have been given fantastic advice on here over the past few months and have managed to use a fair bit of it.

    I'm a little concerned my mental health is struggling though now as I seem to have had a return of how I was feeling initially.

    I believe lockdown hasn't helped as I haven't been able to see anybody other than via video call.

    For those who haven't heard my backstory, I was dumped at end of feb and really struggled with it. Around start of May I could feel myself coming out of the slump and felt more confident about the future.

    For some reason over the past week/2 weeks I have found myself going back to old habits, looking at old messages, over thinking conversations we had, wondering where her life is going right now.i have occupied myself with online courses, I have written some articles for websites and set up online competitions and quizes for my work but I'm just not feeling happy or satisfied with anything.
    It's almost like I keep looking to the past wishing it was part of my future even though its very unlikely that will happen.
    As I look after the social media pages for a local publication I sometimes see tweets from her, not that there is anything worth reading when I see them, it's mainly retweets from celebs etc! But in seeing her profile pic it just again reignites that flame.

    I went on some dating sites at the start of the month and have tried to start up conversation with people but never get replies!
    This then adds to the negativity as I feel nobody is interested in me and that as what I had with her felt so great, I may never find that feeling again.
    Any advice/guidance would be much appreciated Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
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    How often do you go outside in a natural setting in fresh air and walk or run your heart out -as fast as you can -for at least 20-30 minutes - while staying hydrated? Try to do that daily is my suggestion preferably as soon as you get up so there's a better chance of not pushing it off and being out in some sunshine/daylight. (when I do this I take my earbuds and listen to news/podcasts -helps a lot). I do this daily - workout outside -at sunrise - you don't have to do this daily and I promise it will help your mental health and outlook.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I agree, get out the door and at least go for a walk if you arent into running. Go to whatever natural area you can, like a park or trails, and just enjoy being in a nature setting. It can help immensely with your mind! You need to keep better occupied.

    If you cant go to a park etc., go for a walk around your home, explore a street you havent been on before. You need a diversion.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    My son and his spouse and I are planning "socially distant" walks together. I have been suffering from extreme irrational fears (based on reality but pushed way too far) and I feel like it will help me see the world isn't a cesspool of infection.

    A change of scenery can do a world of good. Even if we have to wear a mask while experiencing it!

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Don't do the online dating just yet. You're not ready. Rejection or no replies to you will hit you hard because your morale is already lowered due to the break up. You're going to have to be a lot more confident than this going into dating again.

    What I find helps the most is compartmentalizing and separating work from personal. You may see her there coming up but eventually you're going to have to professionally ignore it and acknowledge that her tweets or retweets are a product of doing business. She didn't just disappear. This person is still alive. Treat her like you would treat a client when you see a client's name pop up. Part of all of this is the acceptance that it is over.

    Studying or working on personal projects are great tools to keep your mind healthy and active. It doesn't work for everyone but I work similarly and feel happiest with projects outside of what I do for work. If you're not working full time look at other ways to improve your resume.

    I'd limit contact with people for the time being and start replacing all the building blocks that make you you. Keep in touch with trusted friends but keep elements of your private life private. You need to do the heavylifting and processing on your own. No one else can help you through that although friends and the presence of loved ones are usually very comforting while you sort out your own issues. Enjoy the silences and turn them into creative workspaces.

    Not everyone is the same. You may find you like more of one thing than another. Some like walks and talks. Others like privacy and projects. Glad you are starting to feel a little better in May. And definitely don't overdose on world news. Find out what's happening, scan the details, know the facts and move on to something else in the day.

  7. #6
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    Thanks all. I definitely see the worth in all that you are saying, I just seem to think i have too much going around my head.
    Always wondering if she is now chatting with someone else, always analysing conversations and arguments we had, querying her past even though it is none of my business and has no relevance to me.
    It literally does my head in!

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by Rb1980
    Thanks all. I definitely see the worth in all that you are saying, I just seem to think i have too much going around my head.
    Always wondering if she is now chatting with someone else, always analysing conversations and arguments we had, querying her past even though it is none of my business and has no relevance to me.
    It literally does my head in!
    Yes - you can have stuff going on in your head AND get out there and move your body. You seem to be repeating what you wrote in the first post as some sort of reason why you're going to maintain the status quo. Why?

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Yes - you can have stuff going on in your head AND get out there and move your body. You seem to be repeating what you wrote in the first post as some sort of reason why you're going to maintain the status quo. Why?
    Oh no, I mean I can certainly go out and do those things and I have been doing lots of exercise, as well as taking walks to do my shopping etc. I just mean that even when doing those things my mind seems locked on the situation with the ex.
    A couple of weeks back, it wasn't and if would do my workouts, my course and more without giving her a thought but now it seems to have started again.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rb1980
    Oh no, I mean I can certainly go out and do those things and I have been doing lots of exercise, as well as taking walks to do my shopping etc. I just mean that even when doing those things my mind seems locked on the situation with the ex.
    A couple of weeks back, it wasn't and if would do my workouts, my course and more without giving her a thought but now it seems to have started again.
    I think it's ok. End of Feb wasn't very long ago. Unless someone is swept off their feet by a rebound (completely replaced your ex with someone else immediately), you are still likely to think about your ex from time to time. It means you loved and cared for someone deeply and that you are capable of caring for another person. It takes time for things to fade naturally and for thoughts to become less and less. I feel you may be struggling against these thoughts and thinking there's something wrong about that. Just ride the waves.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I thought about my ex for 2 1/2 solid months. Then one day, I didn't anymore.

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