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Thread: Ladies, your advice please.

  1. #41
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    So if I were really into someone and had personal reasons for needing to disconnect I would let the person know that to make sure there was no misunderstanding because I wouldn't want to alienate the person.
    Agreed. Time will tell. Iíll be on the lookout.

  2. #42
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    This all seems way too intense and needy in my opinion. I think that if you don't change this quickly this is a lost case.

  3. #43
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Glad it all shook out. See how it goes. Now you know how she operates though. Get to know each other a bit more.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lmasterz
    I know these may not be enough reason to believe so, but it's also a gut feeling.
    I'd go with your gut on this, tbh. Obviously that's probably going to be difficult, given that you're in the exciting first-phases of this interaction.

    Originally Posted by Batya33
    if I were really into someone and had personal reasons for needing to disconnect I would let the person know that to make sure there was no misunderstanding because I wouldn't want to alienate the person.
    Same here, and I look for the same kind of consideration from others.

    Originally Posted by lmasterz
    And yes, maybe we don't know each other well enough, but talking daily for 3 hours and sometimes up to 5 hours for 21 days straight gives you somewhat of an indication of what kind of a person she is.
    I agree with you to a limited extent. All you really know is that you like each other and that you enjoy talking to each other.

    You may be very different in some important, fundamental ways.

    For example, I think it's an important to notice that she is treating the sudden gap in communication differently from what you would prefer.

    That means something. What does it mean? As you say, time will tell.

    There are character and personality traits that won't be evident for months, or even years. For example, her coping skills under different sets of circumstances.

    Ten years ago, I met this guy online and, like you, we talked for hours and hours every day. We couldn't stop. It was like we were addicted to talking to each other.

    Then we met in person, and things seemed to get even better. It lasted like that for two months, and then he abruptly pulled away.

    I knew he was recently out of a five year relationship, but I put the idea of him rebounding out of my mind. We'd already talked about it, and he reassured me that he was totally over his ex.

    What neither of us realized was that there was other collateral damage that came along with that break up. He couldn't cope with the turmoil that he was in, and it killed what we had.

    He was a genuinely nice guy, but he was in deep denial about some important things. That's something I learned about him after the fact. I couldn't have predicted it going in.

    I sensed that something was wrong for a couple weeks before the sht hit the fan. Unfortunately, I dismissed that feeling and paid for it with a lousy break up.

    That's why I say for you to go with your gut. Cool your jets. Be wary.

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