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Thread: Just need some brutal honesty as im not coping well!

  1. #51
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I want to see how much you mean it when you say you want to do better (for both you and your daughter), move past this sickness and be done with her.

    Block her, now.

    The birthday is just an excuse, you don't need it. She again had her chance to behave herself, be a decent human being and to get proper help. Don't let her fool you, she is not interested in help. She's having too good a time having sex with her drug buddies, getting high and not taking any responsibilities. She will give you the 'poor me' speech each and every time she wants sympathy and to have you running back.

    Please get a backbone.

    FWIW, I believe in you.

  2. #52
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    there are hundreds of attractive women who don't abuse illegal substances and who are lovely and fun to be around. Yes, really!
    Hell, yes!

    Please do me a favour. Make a few dating profiles this weekend. Look through profiles. You don't have to contact anyone if you aren't ready. But please open your eyes.
    There are loads of beautiful women (beautiful not just on the outside, but also on the inside) who are responsible, do not use, and are damn good women.
    All you need to do is find ONE, just one...and you will wake up to the sickness you've been wallowing in.

  3. #53
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Hell, yes!

    Please do me a favour. Make a few dating profiles this weekend. Look through profiles. You don't have to contact anyone if you aren't ready. But please open your eyes.
    There are loads of beautiful women (beautiful not just on the outside, but also on the inside) who are responsible, do not use, and are damn good women.
    All you need to do is find ONE, just one...and you will wake up to the sickness you've been wallowing in.
    Thank you for the advice and all the other posters! I did just that with the dating profiles and have met (at social distancing of course!) a couple of really nice women! Just to chat too now as I know my brain isn't in the right place for anything more at the moment but my mood has been lifted massively!

    As an update, after I blocked her she used her best friends account to message me on facebook asking for pointless small things back like 2 shot glasses she bought me for 2.00, wants me to keep using her NOW TV account for me and my daughter etc, again asked not to block her. I would assume this is also how she is keeping track of my social media to find out who I added (I also unfriended the best friend once I removed/blocked the ex).

    Again, thanks for all the honesty and advice and I do genuinely feel a lot better about this situation moving forwards!

  4. #54
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DQD
    Thank you for the advice and all the other posters! I did just that with the dating profiles and have met (at social distancing of course!) a couple of really nice women! Just to chat too now as I know my brain isn't in the right place for anything more at the moment but my mood has been lifted massively!

    As an update, after I blocked her she used her best friends account to message me on facebook asking for pointless small things back like 2 shot glasses she bought me for 2.00, wants me to keep using her NOW TV account for me and my daughter etc, again asked not to block her. I would assume this is also how she is keeping track of my social media to find out who I added (I also unfriended the best friend once I removed/blocked the ex).

    Again, thanks for all the honesty and advice and I do genuinely feel a lot better about this situation moving forwards!
    Yay for you!

    Block that friend. I would cut her off at every turn and do not use her TV now service....

    These are all manipulation tactics... You don't want to be rude. That's not what I'm saying. Just firm... It's over by her rash, knee jerk, abusive, & cruel actions.... no take backs. You don't have time for her games. Her other exes might. But that's because they are LOSERS! You are not.

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  6. #55
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    Originally Posted by Lambert
    Yay for you!

    Block that friend. I would cut her off at every turn and do not use her TV now service....

    These are all manipulation tactics... You don't want to be rude. That's not what I'm saying. Just firm... It's over by her rash, knee jerk, abusive, & cruel actions.... no take backs. You don't have time for her games. Her other exes might. But that's because they are LOSERS! You are not.
    Thankyou Lambert, I genuinely really appreciate the advice I have received on this forum, I would have been in the hurt locker a lot longer if it wasn't for the no nonsense replies! Hopefully anyone else in my situation in future reading these can be picked up out a funk too! Still get moments of missing her/how happy I was during that relationship but its finally sunk in it's done, I will never get 'clousre' and know why she has said/done the things she has and that I don't need her (or a relationship) to be that happy again!

    Thanks again all!

  7. #56
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You're doing great, DQD!! This woman has made a boatload of mistakes with you. She had chance after chance but is not treating you the way you deserve. As for her own personal issues, you can't save her. She has to want to make a life changing choice and she's not ready to. That does not mean you should drown with her.

    It's tough, but you are doing what you can to heal and we here are proud of you. I think many of us know how hard it can be. Yes, the mind definitely shifts back and forth between moving on to feeling guilty and so on. But that's part of the healing process. You are doing everything you need to be doing. She is a grown woman who is mapping out her own life.
    Making her own decisions and made her own decisions that made things bad. Don't ever downplay that part in your mind.
    You did right to let go and move on. You have to, for your own sanity.

    Cheering you on. It's tough, but you'll get there.

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